Relationships 101: Don't Let the Past Ruin The Present

As a teenager, I had a crush on a girl, same age group as I was. At the age of 13, I didn’t know that telling a girl I had a crush on her was wrong. Why??!! Because I felt strongly about her.

One day I got the courage to tell her how I felt about her, in the form of a love letter. I had the love note delivered and awaited her reply. Though she never even took me on, I never stopped trying. We grew close as friends and nothing more, because she eventually turned out to be straight. I used to get jealous of all the attention she used to get from guys, because I wanted to be her one and only, but she wasn’t having it. But I still felt relieved when I told her how I felt, though devastated at the same time because she didn’t feel the same way about me.

 

Even though we are now both grown women, a couple years ago I told her that I still feel the same way about her. But as time passed, I came to realize that it will never happen and we’re better off as BFF’s.

Sometimes in life, things don’t always turn out how you want. I’ve learned to make peace with your past, so it won’t screw up the present. I say that because when I was looking for a girl, I always used to compare them with my high school crush and you knew what happened. I ended up alone, because no one matched up to the criteria. At that time, my past did affect the present.

As I grew older, I’ve had a few meaningless relationships with lesbian and bi-sexual women. Entering into a relationship with a bi-sexual woman, from my experience is very painful and stressful on the heart.  When you’re in love with someone, you want to be with them every minute of every day. However with a bi-sexual woman you can’t, so your relationship with her is neither here or there, because there is a man in the picture. I learnt my lesson a long time ago, not to get involved with any bi-sexual woman unless it’s just you and her.  A real lesbian will never enter into a relationship with a bisexual woman.  bi-sexuals like to use the term “the best of both worlds”. There is no problem with having that. But it's not going to happen with me.

I love to be treated the way I treat you. As a lesbian, I would not put myself in  that type of relationship with a bi-sexual woman. I'm a very serious woman when it comes to my sexuality, and what others think of me is none of my business. With that said, stay tune for part two of Relationships 101: When a lesbian enters a relationship with a straight woman.

P.S: No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

M. Maduro

 

 

 

Q&A With A Close Friend Of 7 Years

I recently sat down with a longtime friend of mine and got her to open up about our friendship and her feelings regarding me and my lifestyle. The highlights of that conversation are posted below

Q: What did you think of me when you first saw and spoke to me? – Me
A: When I first saw you I knew you had feelings for the same sex and when you spoke to me, I wanted to know why you chose that road – Friend

Q: What was my reply to you concerning my way of life? – Me
A: You answered me and told me that you were that way from very young and it’s a feeling deep inside you. - Friend

Q: What was your reaction when you realized I am very serious about my way of life? - Me
A: My reaction to your answer was not a happy one. - Friend

Q: Do you care to elaborate a little more on your previous answer? – Me
A: Due to the fact that you’re a nice person, very caring, my feelings are that you will be a very caring and loving mother. Also you would be a perfect partner for a guy. – Friend

Q: Over the course of the (7) seven years that you have known me. Have you ever seen a change in my attractions towards the same sex? – Me
A: No! As a matter of fact it’s gotten worse. Why I say that, is because your eyes are looking all over the world. – Friend

Q: Give me a brief summary of how our friendship is today compared to when you first met me? – Me
A: Well my friendship towards you grew stronger. The reason why I say this is because as much as I  promise you I would find a guy for you, all you did was smile. Most of all I respect you for who you are and that will never change our friendship. I am very happy that you made up your mind to let everyone know how you feel about yourself. I will pray still for you to get a husband. – Friend

We were all smiles and laughed at the end of the interview”

M. Maduro