CARNIVAL #50 IN ST. MAARTEN

CHRISTIANITY AND HOMOSEXUALITY FINAL PART 5.

In conclusion I have looked at two main reasons why Christians have the negative attitude towards gays that they do. While there are other factors that have led to the attitude of Christians towards gay people, these two factors form the foundations of the debate today. 

The Bible, while it never mentions homosexuality, is referrenced by nearly everyone who dislikes gays. The books of Genesis, Romans, and Leviticus are those most used to argue the sin of being gay. For those who take its words literally, the Bible says clearly that homosexuality is a sin and should result in death. Everybody from St. Paul to Thomas Aquinas to Pat Robertson have told their followers that homosexuality is an abomination and should not be tolerated.

Modern fundamentalism has built a huge political machine based largely on its oppositin to gay rights. This opposition by religious leaders has set the tone for their followers attitudes towards gays. Todays Christians have been taught that gay rights are a threat to Christian rights. If Christian leaders, who know what*s really right from wrong, see gays as evil then they must be. 

I believe that the Bible, much like the Constitution, seems clearer than what it is. It has been written in a way that allows for interpretation. And it is these interpretations which cause so much conflict, not the actual writings themselves. As far as fundamentalism, it is a movement like so many others which had a beginning and will have an end. As a gay person I would like to thank fundamentalists for their harsh treatment. I believe that without their hate-filled and public rethoric the gay rights movement would have languished in obscurity, if it hadn*t disappeared altogether.

CHRISTIANITY AND HOMOSEXUALITY PART 4.

The 1950s and 1960s saw a proliferation of evengelical preachers especially throughout the South and the Midwest. Fudamentalist preachers spoke out against attempts at desegregation. There was a belief that God had a hand in segregation and that the government had no place in changing the social structure of the South. People like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson were unknown outside of their local congregations. But these men, and those like them, came from a long line of evangelical thought which saw everything in terms of white vs. black and good vs.evil without room for compromise.This uncompromising view of social issues has framed the debate over gay rights to this day. 

The 1960s also saw a great deal of social turmoil in the country which fundamentalists began to blame on the "liberal establishment".They looked at decisions handed down by the Supreme Court which were increasing the seperation of church and state. They saw the rise of feminist ideology as threatening the basic family structure. They felt that the growing lack of support for the Vietnam war was exemplary of a society that was dissatisfied with a government which was becoming more liberal. There was a sense that the country was turning away from God. For fundamentalists the 60s were a catalyst to enter politics themselves and on a larger scale than ever before. They believed that their ideals, which were they believed to be the ideals of the country at large, had no voice. 

In 1969 a riot at the Stonewall Inn in New York gave rise to the gay rights movement. As gay people began to become involved in politics, and ever more vocal, fudamentalists saw a great social war on the horizon. Beginning in the 70s, a little known Phyllis Schalfly, herself a Catholic, baecme a great ally to the fudamentalists.14 She had entered into politics in order to oppose the ERA. She was a great speaker and organizer against equal rights for women. It was really Schlafly who promoted the attack on gays. She sought to discredit the women*s movement by accusing feminsists of being closet lesbians. The association between lesbianism and feminism became so detrimental that some feminist leaders tried to purge their oganizations of their lesbian members. Schlafly*s attacks on lesbians, and gays in general, laid the groundwork for public, political opposition to the idea of gays having rights. She was aided in publicizing the homosexual threat by Anita Bryant and her campaign against gay school teachers.By the end of the 1970s evengelical preachers like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson were building large financial war chests by exploiting people*s fears and stereotypes about homosexuals. 

By the time the ERA had failed to pass in the mid 80s it was no longer acceptable to speak out against womens rights. It was certainly not acceptable to preach against desegregation. Fudamentalists, which had become a huge political force through organizations like the Moral Majority and the Christian Coalition, were resisting the perceived effects of feminism by opposing legalized abortion. They were also fighting any attempt at recognizing gays as being entitled to any type of civil rights. For the most part fundamentalism had lost the debate on segregation and feminism, as it had with evolution. But the debate on gay rights wasn*t over, and still isn*t. So gays became the "demons" that all Christians should oppose. The large organizations of volunteers and the millions of dollars that Falwell and Robertson had built up to wage social war became focused on turning back the few gay rights laws that had been passed and on preventing any others from being passed. Homosexuals were characterized as being anti-family, anti-American, pedophiles who would bring the whole country out of grace with God. They were, and are, seen by many as selfish perverts who have chosen to imperil society so that they may celebrate their perversion. Christians, along with the rest of the country, have been told to fear gays for a variety of reasons ranging from their desire to convert heterosexuals to their lifestyle to their lust for children. Fundamentalists would like the country to see gays as they see them: as the personification of evil. These extreme views have colored and at time led the publics perceptions of its gay members.

CHRISTIANITY AND HOMOSEXUALITY PART 2.

The first chapters of Genesis give us the story of creation. God created Adam and Eve who became the mother and father of all people. Many Christians believe that this shows an intent on the part of God that only a relationship between a man and a woman is acceptable. God made one man and one woman leaving each of them no other choice for companionship or love. Only men and women can produce children, which is taken by some to mean that God only wanted people with a heterosexual orientation to be reproduced. In terms of the beginning, non-heterosexuals do not exist. A common way of putting all this is that God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. This is why churches oppose gay relationships especially in terms of marriage. Recently the Catholics and Mormons spearheaded a campaign, including many other denominations, to pass Prop. 22 officially outlawing gay marriage in California. Many other states have done the same with the guidance of their local churches. Currently only the Unitarian Universalist Association and the United Church of Christ, and recently joined by the Jewish Reform movement2, will perform marriage ceremonies for gays. 

In Genesis 19:1-25we find the story of Sodom and Gomorah. It is this story which is used most often when people speak against homosexuality. We are told that God informs Abraham that he is going to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gemorrah. Abraham tries to plead with God to save Sodom but he only agrees to save his nephew Lot and his family. Two angels go to Sodom to warn Lot of its impending destruction. After Lot invites them in, a crowd of men shows up at his house and demands to see the angels so that they "...may know them."3 This has been interpreted to mean have sex with them. Lot goes outside to discourage them and instead offers them his virgin daughters. They refuse the girls and become aggressive for the men, then the angels save Lot and blind the crowd of men. The angels then tell Lot to get his family and to get out of town. As soon as they left Sodom, God burned the cities to the ground.

Many Christians believe this story to say that God destroyed the city of Sodom because of these "homosexuals" who wanted to molest the angels. They believe that those men of Sodom were guilty of a horrible sin for even wanting to have sex with other men. This story is often used to illustrate why homosexuality is so wrong. Underlying this is the feeling amongst some that since God destroyed Sodom in order to get rid of the gays there, that they are justified in trying to rid the world of gays themselves. They feel completely at ease with their hatred of gays because they believe thet God feels the same as they do. Some Christians even feel that they have a duty to try and wipe out the evil of homosexuality. Christianity has greatly influenced how society and the laws of the land treat gays based partly in a fear that God would deliver the same punishment against any society that accepts homosexuality.It is from this story that we get the words sodomy and sodomites. In 24 states sodomy is a crime punishable by everything from a simple fine to 20 years in prison.4 If Christians truly believe that God will level a society because of it*s gays, then it*s no wonder why so many of them would be against it. 

Later in Genesis 38:1-10 we get a more specific view on non-procreative sex through the story of Onan. Onan had a brother, Er, who was killed by God for being wicked. Er left his widow without a child, so God commanded Onan to father a child for his brother with Ers wife. Onan did not want to do this, so in the midst of intercourse with his sister-in-law, just as he was about to ejaculate, he pulled out and did so on the ground. God became offended by Onans defiance and ended up killing him too.

This story serves to illustrate the sin of "spilling your seed". It is assumed that Onan ejaculated by masturbating himself, even though it is not stated that he did so. From this story Christians infer that any sex act which thwarts procreation is a sin. And while masturbation or coitus interuptus are considered sinful because they represent attempts at birth control, homosexual acts are considered to be as bad if not worse. This is because homosexual sex cannot result in procreation and therefore is seen, not as sex which avoids pregnancy, but as sex purely for the sake of indulgence. Consequently sex acts which could result in pregnancy, but avoid doing so, are bad. Sex acts which by their nature cannot result in pregnancy, like homosexual acts or masturbation, are seen as unnatural. St.Thomas Aquinas even went so far as to suggest that masturbation was worse than forced rape. He reasoned that even though rape was bad it could still result in procreation and so could not be viewed as a crime against nature. But since mastubation, and gay sex, could not result in procreation it does go against nature.5 It is for this reason that most Christians refer to homosexuality as being unnatural.

CHRISTIANITY AND HOMOSEXUALITY PART 1.

During the last 2,000 years of Christianity many changes have taken place in how it sees people and their place in the kingdom of God. The Church has changed its views of people of other races as inferior, or savages, in need of salvation. They have changed their views on womens equality. They are even in the midst of making amends with and reaching out to Muslims and Jews. But most modern Christians have a more hardened view of homosexuals than they*ve ever had. Some see homosexuals as being in direct league with Satan, as they also believed about "witches". Gays are seen as a direct threat to society and to the sanctity of the family. Homosexuality is referred to as an abomination. Next to abortion, nothing seems to unite Christians more than the fear of homosexuality. 

On what basis do Christians form their ideals and fears of gay people? Why do they feel the need to demonize and disenfranchise an admittedly small segment of the population? Why does the Church work so hard to prevent equal rights for gays, and for that matter, to prevent homosexuality at all? These are the questions I hope to answer. I could simply answer these questions by saying that some people are just ignorant. But I believe that nearly all Christians who dislike gays believe that they have a very strong basis for feeling the way they do. One of the first reasons that these people will give is that the Bible says homosexuality is a sin. The Bible gets the blame for a lot of things but especially for outright rejection of homosexuals. Genesis, Leviticus, and Romans tend to be the books most referrenced by those arguing the sin of "sodomy". Another reason for Christian rejection of homosexuality is that it is unnatural. Once again the Bible tends to be the basis for this conclusion, although for different reasons. Any sex act that cannot achieve procreation is seen as being against nature, as in the case of Onan. This going against the grain of nature has therefore been considered sinful. 

The rise of fundamentalism has also had a great effect on the public attitude towards homosexuals. Many evengelicals have preached long and hard against any sort of accomodation to the "homosexual agenda". In fact many have preached for outright hostility toward gays. Groups like the Moral Majority have built large political machines by creating fear of a gay threat.

In the following pages I intend to look at all of these two areas for the reasons why Christians find homosexuality so intolerable. 

The place to start, in answering my questions, is in the Bible. Much ado has been made by modern Christians about what the Bible says about homosexuality. But what exactly does the Bible have to say about it? For starters the word homosexual(ality) did not appear in any Bible in any language until 1946.1 But there are a few passages which have been interpreted as addressing the issue.

CHRISTIANITY AND HOMOSEXUALITY PART 3.

St.Paul wrote more about homosexuality than any of the Bibles other authors. But he actually wrote very little on the subject. In Romans 1:26-27 he writes that "God gave the unrighteous up to vile afflictions, that women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. Also the men, leaving the natural use of the women, burned in their lust one towards another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."6 This is interpreted by many to mean that not only is it unnatural for women and especially men to lust for the same sex but that it is a vile affliction. Later in Romans 1:32 Paul writes that "they which commit such things are worthy of death."7 This speaks for itself. Of course Paul was referring to a long list of things including lieing, boasting, envy, pride, inventors of evil things, and disobedience to your parents as being worthy of death. But the list begins with references to what are believed to have been gay men and women who are just like modern gays. And so modern Christians take these verses to heart in reference to modern gay people. In order for Bette Green to write her book The Drowning of Steven Jones, she interviewed about 400 inmates who had been imprisoned for gay bashing crimes. Most of them said they saw nothing morally wrong with killing a gay person because "...homosexuality is wrong and against the Bible."8

Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 provide the most direct proscriptions against homosexuality. 18:22 says "Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is abomination." 20:13 is even clearer saying "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."9 There again these verses are taken literally by most Christians. Many believe that Leviticus is referring to any and every gay person. It is understandable why Christianity would feel no guilt with total rejection of gays.

While these verses do seem to be addressing homosexuality as we know it today there are some Christians who don*t believe so. These people have always been a minority within the Christian faith. Yet they represent an alternative interpretation of the Bibles comments on gays. In The Good Book author Peter Gomez, Preacher to Harvard, writes "...no credible case against homosexuality or homosexuals can be made from the Bible unless one chooses to read scripture in a way that simply sustains the existing prejudice agaisnt homosexuality and homosexuals."10 Helmut Thielicke wrote in Theological Ethics about doctrinaire prejudices which he describes as value-judgements like "homosexuality is sinful" which "...is not isolated from an objective assessment of the phenomenon but is rather projected into it,...".11 There are other Christians who believe that the Sodomites were punished for their over all wickedness and that God had decided to do so prior to the angels being nearly attacked by the men of Sodom. Some interpret Pauls wirtings to be discussing the downfall of human nature and it*s unrighteousness as opposed to being specifically about homosexuality. It is also suggested that Paul was talking about a heterosexual man aho performs a homosexual act as being unnatural because he was going against his hetero nature as Paul was not aware of a homo nature.Leviticus has been iterpreted to speak to male prostitution not consensual gay relationships. But like I said these are minority views.

Another factor in the Christian view of homosexuality has been the rise of fundamentalism over the past 70 years. Beginning in the 1920s various denominations began uniting behind fudamentalism in opposition to the teaching of evolutionary theory. Churches were united "by their strict opposition to attempts to bring Christianity into line with modern thought."12 This opposition culminated in the famous Scopes "monkey" trial. The trial came about as the result of a lawsuit by the ACLU which challenged a Tennessee law prohibiting the teaching of evolution in the classroom.On the one hand was William Jennings Bryan who argued against the teaching of evolution in schools. On the other hand was Clarence Darrow who, representing the ACLU, humiliated Bryan as a know-nothing Bible-thumper.13 After the loss of the case by Bryan many evengelicals withdrew from political activism, but a few remained active believeing that they had a duty to make this a God fearing country. But the sour nature of the trial and the bitterness it left set the tone for future conflicts between fundamentalism and liberalism.

Happy 2018 everyone.

Wolud love to think that everyone 2018 started off with a bang. I’ve been here, going thru some ups and downs, but the most high have given me the strength to carry on.

I’m most at peace listening to the music made by the waves. SXM STRONG 💪.

LGBT COMMUNITY PRIDE FLAGS AND SYMBOLS..

The LGBT COMMUNITY has adopted certain symbols for self identification which demonstrate UNITY, PRIDE, shared values, and allegiance to one another.  The LGBTQ symbols communicate ideas, concepts, and identity both within their communities and to mainstream culture.
 
   The two (2) most-recognized international LGBTQ symbols are the PINK TRIANGLE and the RAINBOW FLAG.  The Rainbow Flag, previously used as a symbol of UNITY between all people, was adopted to be a more organic and natural replacement without any negativity attached to it.

   The colors of the RAINBOW FLAG have meanings, and they are as follows:
. Hot Pink : For Sexuality
. Red : For Life
. Orange : For Healing
. Yellow : For Sun
. Green : For Nature
. Blue : For Art
. Indigo : For Harmony
. Violet : For Spirit
 
   Making it in the colors of the rainbow, Baker says, was the obvious choice. “We needed something that expressed us. The rainbow really fits that, in terms of: we’re all the colors, and all the genders and all the races,” he says. “It’s a natural flag; the rainbow is in the sky and it’s beautiful. It’s a magical part of nature.
The two original flags had eight stripes each, with hot pink, red, orange, yellow, green, turquoise, indigo and violet descending from the top. Baker conceived meanings for each color; for example, orange represented healing and hot pink represented sexuality.

The Bisexual Community also known as the bisexual/ pansexual, fluid, or non-monosexual community includes members of the LGBT COMMUNITY who identify as bisexual, pansexual, or sexually fluid.

   People who identify as bisexual or pansexual receives a lot of hatred and distrust (biphobia), stereotyping, and denial from both straight and gay people.  People would say bisexuals are just unsure of their feelings or going through a "phase" and will or should "decide" or "discover" which sex they are attracted to.  On the other hand, there is also increasing support, inclusion and visibility of bisexuals in the LGBT COMMUNITY.  Here are the meaning of the colors of the BISEXUAL FLAG, they are as follows:

. PINK : represents sexual attraction to the same sex only (gay and lesbian).
. BLUE : represents sexual attraction to the opposite sex only (straight).
. PURPLE : represents sexual attraction to both sexes (BI).

I will be back in two (2) weeks time with the continuation of LESBIAN IDENTITY , part two (2) will be focusing on Soft-Butch/ Stem as they are called, and Femme lesbians. This article was just to answer some of your questions about the difference in pride flags in the LGBT COMMUNITY.  There's so much more I can elaborate on but this article wouldn't get done. There's a lot of history behind the flags and the colors of the LGBT COMMUNITY  going way back during HITLER'S TIME AND WOLRD WAR 2 TIME. 

   I hope you guys enjoy this little piece, and feel free to leave comments and questions.
   ONE LOVE.....   

                                            MINELVA MADURO..

 






 

 

My Heart Goes Out To the Families and Loved Ones Of Orlando!!

Let me start by sending my heartfelt condolences to the families, friends and loved ones of the victims of the Pulse Night Club in Orlando.  I'm not going to spend any of my time speaking about the sadistic killer.

 What happened to those young, vibrant, full of life, and had a bright future ahead of them victims, is a senseless act. I stand in SOLIDARITY with the Mother that was just out front texting to her son and couldn't help him.  I stand in SOLIDARITY with the young guy that lost his Mother in the club, cause she had gone there to support her son for coming out. 

I stand in SOLIDARITY with many parents and loved ones and friends, that are mourning the loss of their loved ones, that was taken away from them in the most heinous way. Words can't express the way am feeling, not because it happened at a Gay club!! It could've happened anywhere else, taking the lives of innocent people.  I stand in SOLIDARITY with the LGBT COMMUNITY in Orlando, that are mourning the loss of its members.

While families are preparing to bury their loved ones, we keep you in our prayers..

                             Minelva Maduro..

LESBIAN IDENTITY PART -1(STUD / BUTCH / TOMBOY).

One question that has been asked by many straight women: what is the difference between a STUD and a BUTCH?  So I in return asked them what is the problem with you guys and those LABELS?  Their reply to me is, that's the only way they could understand our sexuality and the LGBTQ Community.  

   I on the other hand, don't like labels, I am who I am, and I like what I like, and there's no other like me.  So after some extensive research and studying, here's my answer and opinion to your question.

   STUD / BUTCH, are two (2) terms that share the same meaning and are used to describe a MASCULINE LESBIAN.  The definition STUD is "a human male viewed as very successful with women." This same concept has become adapted in the lesbian community among the women who are considered to be STUDS.  STUDS / BUTCHES are known for having a way with the ladies, "and being able to sweet talk," or gain the attention of  other lesbians and sometimes of HETEROSEXUAL WOMEN as well.  Generally, most women who identify as being a STUD / BUTCH LESBIAN prefer to wear men's clothing.

   In contrast to FEMMES who can be confused as STRAIGHT women, STUDS / BUTCHES are easier to identify.  Since these women assume the more dominant role in a lesbian relationship, these women are the MALE FIGURE and PROVIDER for their PARTNERS and FAMILIES.  STUDS / BUTCHES are women that are strong, masculine and aggressive.  Their affirmed identity challenges social makings of gender, and the parallels between masculinity and femininity.

   So while i was doing my research, I stumbled upon TOMBOY. Before you guys ask me about TOMBOYS, I will tell you this much, they are not lesbians, but then again they may or may not be lesbians.  A TOMBOY  is a woman that is slightly masculine, but not necessarily overly masculine, and who is usually STRAIGHT.  TOMBOYS are seen as being interested in sports, hardware/mechanics, and other non-girly activities, do not dress too feminine, and may not wear makeup etc... but they are overall seen as less BUTCH than BUTCHES.

   Both STUDS / BUTCHES are lesbians, and they are basically the same, but STUD is generally used for black lesbians, and BUTCH is generally used for white lesbians.  So you see, race plays a roll in these LABELS that SOCIETY has branded us with, so that they could understand and identify us.

   I'm happy to say that, those labels doesn't define who I am today. I am PROUD of who I am, and that is MINELVA MADURO, I live my life for me and not for others. Be proud of who you are, and what you've become.  Do not let society's labels define who you are and the way you live your life;; that is all up to you!!!!

                                             I AM PROUD!!!!!!!
                                              MINELVA MADURO.

Out & Proud In SXM: LOVE YOU!!!!

Out & Proud In SXM: LOVE YOU!!!!: I lost my dad, James.E.Maduro on June 22 nd , 2015 in Columbia.   Since then my desire to continue on with my Blog diminished.   I’ve...

LOVE YOU!!!!

I lost my dad, James.E.Maduro on June 22^nd, 2015 in Columbia.  Since then my desire to continue on with my Blog diminished.  I’ve had no motivation or desire to pick up a pen and continue to write.  I’ve started this blog because of my Dad, and his many attempts to interview or get the story from a Gay man’s perspective.

    I’ve spoke to a couple of Gay Guys, and two (2) of whom are my dearest friends. One of them since then passed on, going on two (2) years now.  He was an avid reader of my blog, a great teammate and a damn great netball player he was, Cavin Bridgewater miss you dearly.

   Before my dad passed, I’ve asked him why start with them when you have me here.  His reply to me, were that he needed to know from another perspective, and he knows his daughter inside out, and I must say he did, very much so.  He never got around to the interviews, but he saw when I started this blog, and were very outspoken about it.  Many of you saw the video and read the Q and A between him and myself.

    Many of you that knew my dad, had known that he was a very religious man, very kind, always helping others in whatever and whichever way he can, whether its English classes, Spanish or dutch classes.  Don’t let me get started on his many run ins with politics, both good times and bad times.  From his children to everyone else, that got involved with him, knew that he had a great sense of humor, to go with his long political conversations.

   My dad James.E.Maduro, had coached many persons that were just starting their political careers.  He was very honored that at that stage in his life, young ones came to him to get whatever knowledge they could from that great, brilliant mind of his.  I am very happy that I got to share him with the world, but sometimes there were those that took advantage, but this is not about that.  Many times he had told to enter as a candidate on a party list, but I told him I’m too liberal and a radical, so people like me they would never want on their party list.  If my Dad were alive today, we both would be having a laugh at what’s going on here in beautiful St. Maarten.  He would have had many articles written and sent to the Daily Herald and maybe the Today News Paper, and if they were written in their favor they would publish them.

    I miss our round table talks almost every Monday when I’m off from work, miss our weekly beach visits to Le Gallion beach, before he had gotten his other leg amputated.  We made fun and memories from whatever hand we were dealt, and I thank God for that always.  Most importantly I’ve missed his many teachings of the Bible, and the teachings of Ellen.G.White.

Many had told me that it would get easier moving on with my life without him, but they never told me about the hole that remains in my heart, it would never heal.  To think I should have known that from the passing of my Grandmother, that I called mommy, Mrs. Hildred.D.Tyson that raised me in my young years, and my Grandfather that I called Daddy, Mr. Charles Tyson many years ago.

    My Dad always told me, to be proud of who I am.  Not because of our differences on my sexuality, that doesn’t make me a bad, horrible person.  He prayed for me always, and asked God to guide my path.  He also prayed that we will see each other when Christ returns, and I know we will.  My Dad was my Rock. Back in the day, whenever or wherever you saw him, you saw me also.  I used to loved it when he came to a few of my basketball games, and before he passed I used to keep him abreast of all my games, both Netball and Basketball.  He was my BIGGEST FAN!!!

    Now today May 16^th, 2016, just six (6) days before he makes eleven (11) months in Heaven, I know he’s looking down on me with a big smile on his face and saying, “THAT RED CARABU GIRL PICKED UP HER PEN AND STARTED WRITING AGAIN”. YES I DID DAD, BECAUSE OF YOU!!

    My Dad lived for God and Country, and for his children.  For the millions that knew him well, knows that’s the truth.

    I LOVE YOU DAD, and that you knew.  Those special birthday calls, I will keep them in my heart forever, those Father’s Day calls, checking to see which one of your children rang you first, I will keep my tally close to my heart; (“SMILE”).  I’m very blessed to have had a wonderful, loving, and a no nonsense Dad like you.

LOVE YOU DAD

MINELVA MADURO.

He Lived For God And Country. # A Tribute To My Father James Elridge Maduro.

   My father and best friend. 

 

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A Gay Dad’s Letter to Gay Teen, Austin Wallis, and the High School That Rejected Him

The world of teens and tweens can be a treacherous one. As the dad to two 12 year olds, I see it as a world where childhood cushions and play have fallen away and new, somewhat complex challenges have emerged. It is a world where peer relationships and socializations are paramount. Independence is practically a life force and hormones seem to be pumping through veins previously filled with sugar and spice. It is a world where kids discover themselves and those discoveries can range from the thrilling to crisis, and sometimes both at the same time.

Adults standing on the sidelines to this whirlwind try our best to lead, nurture and inspire. We try to guide our young charges to being their best, and set themselves up to capture a destiny worthy of the love we cloak them in.

Some adults do this except in the cases where the child in question is gay as Austin Willis, a high school student in Texas, discovered this week. Austin has been on an affirming journey over the past year. He not only has discovered who he is, he has introduced the real him to his personal social circles and the public at large through a YouTube channel.

His videos are fun, silly, charming, and his relationships with teachers and friends are warm and mutually supportive. Life has been good, even granting him a handsome boyfriend.
From my perspective as a parent, seeing my child find himself so progressively would be life affirming. The principal at Lutheran North did not seem to share that view of young Austin’s development. He categorized it instead as the promotion of sexually immoral behavior. His answer was not to guide Austin Wallis’s development, but to shut it down all together.

We tell our kids to be true to themselves, to nurture self-respect and live with respect to others. Lutheran North did not encourage Austin in any of those initiatives. Instead, they asked Austin to hide who he is, pretend to be otherwise — or leave. He chose to leave.

HOW DO I FEEL ABOUT LGBT MARRIAGES BEING ALLOWED ON FRENCH ST. MARTIN, BUT NOT ON DUTCH ST. MAARTEN!!!!

First, I must say that I'm very happy for the LGBT COMMUNITY on French St. Martin. I'm happy that they got their freedom to marry whom ever they desire.

  Did it impacted my life in anyway? Yes it did.  Seeing that we're a small island in the caribbean, with strong religous ties, its a MONUMENTAL win for the LGBT COMMUNITY on the french side. I knew it couldn't have been easy for them, because they came up against some strong opposition, protests; and came through it all with the right to be able to marry their SAME SEX PARTNER.  All in all I'm happy that  SAME SEX COUPLES are allowed to get married on French St. Martin.

Now I'm a Dutch Antillean, living on Dutch St. Maarten for many years, I'm not going to the french side, Saba, St. Eustatius, Bonaire or anywhere else as a matter of fact, to get married to my partner, and then return home to register our marriage.

That process doesn't make any sense to me at all.  You are allowing me to register my marriage to my SAME SEX PARTNER, but you're not allowing me to do the whole proceedure here, like for instance, taking out a marriage license for my SAME SEX PARTNER and myself.

Its very easy for me to say, LEGALIZE SAME SEX MARRIAGE on dutch St. Maarten because of the half ass process that's been done here!!!!!  LEGALIZE MARRIAGE EQUALITY FOR THE LGBT COMMUNITY here on ST. MAARTEN DUTCH WEST INDIES!!!!!!!



              M. MADURO

ONE YEAR TODAY, YAAY!!!!!!! THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!

Dear viewers and fans:  Let me start off by thanking God for his love and mercy, and for letting me make it this far.  I'm celebrating 1 year since I've started this blog.
On January 16th, 2015 we had recorded 3,053 views, from both local and international viewers.  On our google + pages we have a record of  8000 + viewers.  For that I would like to thank each and everyone of you  for supporting me.

I'm also sending out a special THANK YOU to my TWITTER followers, thanks for your love and support. Angel Evans, love you baby girl, and thanks for your support.

A very special thanks to Evencia Carty Seabrookes; she kicked me into gear, kept me on my toes with her burst of energy and motivation.  I also must commend her for the SPECTACULAR INTERVIEWS she had done with my Dad and Ms. Shama Flurton. THANK YOU VENCIA, much love.

Thank You Dad, Mr. James.E. Maduro for your out spoken interview and your kind words, LOVE YOU DAD!!!! THANK YOU also going out to Ms. Shama Flurton, on your courageous interview, I must say now that the way you spoke about our friendship brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for keeping it real, love you girl.

A special THANK YOU is going out to our President at S.A.F.E. SXM, Ms. Lysanne Charles Arrindell, on her interview for both OUT'N'PROUD SXM and S.A.F.E SXM.  I also want to commend her and the BOARD at St. Maarten/ St. Martin Alliance For Equality on their new Lobby for SAME SEX MARRIAGE to be LEGALIZE here on St. Maarten. Thank you and the board for a job well done, and you guys at S.A.F.E have my full support.

To my local community, thank you for your support.  My kooyman family, thank you for following me and supporting me.

For those of you that shared your stories with me, THANK YOU for trusting and believing in me. I also hope that you are more acceptable of yourselves, and living the life that makes you happy.  I've been called many names, and that didn't stop me from being the person I am today.  I live my life for me and not for others, and I urge you to do the same, LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU AND NOT FOR OTHERS.

This year we're going to have more local coming out stories and international news.  Its important to let people express themselves, do not bully them because they're different, because you too are also different.  Instead listen to them and give advice, don't call them names and shun them, they're HUMAN just like you, with feelings.

BE TOLERANT, and show your peers how to be TOLERABLE.  SHOW LOVE, TOLERANCE and ACCEPTANCE.  WE ARE ONE PEOPLE, ONE COMMUNITY, AND TOLERANCE AND ACCEPTANCE STARTS WITH US.


                     THANK YOU
                      MINELVA MADURO.

A Gay Dad’s Requiem for Leelah, the Matthew Shepard of our time;

To the lovely Leelah, and all the Leelahs in the shadows,

You feared that you could never be loved, and yet here we are. Your absence has broken our hearts. The love for you was in the world all along. It sat quiet, waiting.

In that regard, it failed you. You needed to know it was there, that it was possible. You needed to know that it was your legacy, and it was possible for it to come not from a million strangers mourning your loss, but right back in the gaze of a man, and loving friends who saw you as you were, and met the vision of you with adoration.

I know that was there for you. But you didn’t know it.

It was a love that said, Leelah, we are waiting for you to be you, your authentic self. Whether that self “passed” as a person who was born resembling a woman to your family, or as one who transitioned physically into one— it makes no difference. Beauty is not about cis-gendering, it is not about passing as someone else, it is about being the real person. You were that real person.

I have two 12 year old sons. I thrill as each becomes more and more who he is, every day. Should I falter in being there for them, if I screwed up my parenting and tried to shove them in some role or characterization, I would want the world to step in and correct me and make me allow them to be themselves. I wish someone had done so for your parents.

I am sad that we did not make you feel welcome. I am sad that we did not give you the hope to know your life could be wonderful. I am angry that we allowed the trepidation over infringing on someone’s dogmatic belief system kept us from reaching you and protecting the very basic human rights you demanded and deserved.

As you said goodbye to us, you let us know you had a voice. It was an important voice, and still is. It may have been the most important voice some of us had ever heard, and now, it is silenced.

You are right. Saying “it gets better” is not enough. We all need to be dedicated to making it better — now, and to cry that out. It will be better because we are insisting that changes be made. We cannot thrust our precious transgender brothers and sisters into the mercy of fate and a growing understanding. We need to bring that understanding to fruition as immediately as possible. We lost you while we warmed with the idea that equality was dawning, seemingly ignorant to the fact that pockets of hell still flourished in our patience.

You wanted your death to mean something. You wanted your death to be counted among the numbers of transgender casualties that are all too common.

I would deny you nothing, beautiful Leelah, except for these two requests. I cannot honor your death. It is an event that I wish with all my soul had not happened. I will not fold you into a horrific number that I want to see reduced, not increased.

It is your life that I will honor. It is your uniqueness and the uniqueness of all the others who today suffer as you did. I will fight that all those lives come out of the shadows and live and become powerful. You were not a number. They are not a number. You, they, are incredible and important human lives and I want to feel and experience your impact.

If another Leelah is reading these words, please know that I already respect you as one of the bravest on earth. I am in awe of the discovery you have made about yourself and offer my commitment to hold your hand as people understand who you are.

I am here to fight the hard fight—to make this world safe for you, worthwhile for you, available to you. I will not relinquish.

I will fight like hell. I need you, all the hidden Leelah’s to fight like hell too. We must end the option of transgender suicide. Get mad. Get vocal. Even get militant.

Don’t leave us. Your death stunned us. I can only imagine what your life would have done.

The Life and Death of Leelah Alcorn; Known to her parents as Joshua Alcorn

I will never forget the stunning image of Matthew Shepard’s hate crime. A young beautiful human was beaten, tortured and left for dead in an unthinkable violation. It shocked me when I saw the images, and I was not alone. Matthew’s fate left and indelible impression that has become part of our collective culture to this day.

This week, another tragedy, another life destroyed, left a similar impression — the death of Leelah Alcorn.

One of the publishers I work with sent me a quick message on New Years Eve. “You might want to write one of your ‘Gay Dad’ letters to the parents of this teen.” It was Leelah’s story. She was known to her family as “Joshua,” and she had killed herself. A pre-published letter appeared online. In the letter she eloquently explained why she was going to end her life in more emotional detail. While certainly many other young people had ended their lives before her, Leelah’s account of what she had endured was unprecedented.

In doing so, Leelah transformed from the latest tragedy to one that emblazed into the consciousness of a mass audience. Her plead to “make her death matter” resonated.

Many progressive bloggers felt moved to write about her including John Pavlovitz, Kathy Baldock, Jillian Page and Susan Cottrell. The evangelical Christian world was starkly quiet, issuing no statements of condolence, responsibility or regret for the environment it inspired. The Christian Post offered no mention of Leelah’s death at all even though it had been broadcast across all major media outlets in the country. Charisma News offered a single article by Michael Brown that called the situation “tragic” but instead of addressing a situation exacerbated by shortsighted Christian dogma, called for “time and energy into looking for the root causes of transgenderism.”

Without a stark image of a cross like fence on a cold crystal Wyoming plain, Leelah made an impression comparable to the crucified Matthew Shepard. She had become the image of the victim of transphobia as he had the victim of homophobic hate. In this case, her own testimony was the cross, and instead of a mother who would become the forward bearer of the message, her mother was cast as the villain.

Her story, as transgender activist Miriam Nadler tweeted, is tragically shared by many. “Cis people: please understand that the death of #LeelahAlcorn is not a statistical outlier. This story is common, cruel, and preventable.”

Susan Cottrell observed, “Yet another destroyed life over people’s ignorance and cruelty.There are no words to express the collective grief over this poor girl’s death, and anger at her parents’ misguided actions that drove her to it. Leelah’s parents made several mistakes and didn’t know it – or didn’t care.”

Author Dan Savage was even more direct, “We know that parental hostility & rejection doubles a queer kid’s already quadrupled risk of suicide—rejecting your queer kid is abuse, Leelah Alcorn’s parents threw her in front of that truck. They should be ashamed—but 1st they need to be shamed.”

Washington Post’s Caitlin Dewey disagreed stating, “If you think the best, most effective possible action you can take to advance transgender rights is to harass the grieving mother of a recently deceased child, you lack imagination, humanity, any experience with grief, or some combination of the three.”

For her part, Leelah’s mother, Carla Alcorn, claimed to be ignorant of her child’s struggles. She told CNN that the transgender challenge was in a single conversation and it was not until after her child had died that she had even heard the name “Leelah.” “We don’t support that, religiously “But we told him that we loved him unconditionally. We loved him no matter what. I loved my son. People need to know that I loved him. He was a good kid, a good boy,” she added.

Leelah’s father Doug Alcorn wrote, “We love our son, Joshua, very much and are devastated by his death. We have no desire to enter into a political storm or debate with people who did not know him. We wish to grieve in private. We harbor no ill will towards anyone. … I simply do not wish our words to be used against us.”

Doug and Carla Alcorn plan to say goodbye to someone named Joshua. The rest of the world is mourning a vibrant young woman named Leelah.

For me, as a gay dad, I have complex feelings around this horror. Front of mind for me is that Leelah’s death, in all its devastation, not be held as an event to be emulated by other transgender teens in similar situations. We must collectively strive to shut down the bloodshed on all fronts. Second, I have written to, and about, worse parents. There are parents who have wished their children dead, violently attacked and killed them. The Alcorns are not one of those. As a dad, I cannot fathom the pain they must feel. I do not know how I could possibly survive the death of one of my children. It is a strength I don’t believe I possess.

The philosophy that Doug and Carla Alcorn labored under is culpable however. As my sons have approached their adolescence, guesswork on where their inner compasses are leading them has commenced. I strive to be there to support their emotional health as they find themselves through hormonal and social growth. I cannot imagine ignoring a deep-seated plea on their part due to my own allegiance to some set of dogmatic rules. Carla Alcorn did that, and still appears to be doing so.

A wave of concern has emerged over how Leelah will be buried, and what name and the gender will be used. Her family seems to be avoiding a memorial all together to avoid the inevitable protests of their actions.

From my perspective, the death of Leelah is bigger than a funeral. Her death is bigger than failed parenting. It is the result of both a religion-based culture that ignores science and a largely apathetic public on the issue of transgender dignity. She is the mark in the sand of our collective societal consciousness. Her death asks the question on human rights — at what point have we reached the breaking point in tolerating transphobic behavior that ruins young lives. Matthew Shepard’s death asked the same question about thousands of hate crimes that had preceded him.

The religious right has framed the conversation as one of “Religious Freedom”. Fear of infringing against their rhetoric, basic human rights violations have been quieted. We have reached the point where we have to ask whether some supposed adherence to these “religious freedoms” that allow for abuse needs to be compromised in order to achieve common human rights and respect for all.

The Joy Of Giving Not Only At Christmas Time

My Christmas Card to the Family with Two Dads Who Gave Up All Their Christmas Presents to a Group of LGBT Homeless Youth

Years ago when my partner and I were deciding whether or not to have kids, we made two lists. The first was a “cons” list. On that list were all the pragmatic reasons why it would be difficult. I was in my forties—too old? There were college savings, education concerns. We would have four mouths to feed. Then we decided to make the “pros” list. My partner started out, “The looks on our children’s faces on Christmas morning.” The next sound was me ripping up the “cons” list. He closed the deal.

As my sons have grown, and are both now 12-year olds, it is no longer their looks of joy of which I am proud. It is their enthusiasm over what they are excited to give to others. They have been sneaky, and a tad dishonest lately, but it has all been to slyly slip into stores to spend their own allowance money on our different family members.

Recently, I met a family who has taken this spirit to a whole new level. Steve and his partner live in the Midwest. They count as their family members Steve’s two grown daughters, one daughter’s husband, and his 13-year old son.

Steve has always believed in giving to others. Throughout his previous 15-year marriage, he was often a foster-dad, and gave home at different times to over 100 different children. This year he broached a philanthropic idea to his family: “Let’s be a substitute Santa for a homeless family in need.”

His son loved the idea, and his daughters were soon enthusiastically on board. The family began examining their budget and how much could be done. It was determined that they could reasonably put together big packages for two families. That was not enough for Steve’s kids. How could they reach more people, they asked dads Steve and his partner “T”. Steve speculated out loud, “The only way we could do more is if we pool ALL our Christmas gift money for each other, and do this instead.” The consensus from the entire family was a resounding “Let’s do it!”

Younger daughter “L” told me, “Donating my Christmas gifts was an easy decision this year. Growing up as a Christian, the story of the Good Samaritan was told many times. I try to follow this example and serve those I can, not only during the Christmas season but throughout the year. Several Christmas’ ago, our family was in need of some help during the Christmas season and some kind neighbors were able to help us out, so when it was suggested to help someone else in need it was an easy decision to return the favor.”

More family members came on board, specifically former foster children of Steve’s, and contributed. The targets of the gifts changed as they dug into local needs further. Steve found out about a program sponsored by the local Pride organization and two churches that fed homeless youth, mostly LGBT. The majority of the teens had been thrown out of their homes for coming out to their families. They were now not welcomed home. This was consistent with homeless teen populations nationwide.

Merry Christmas from the Out N’ Proud Family and a Happy New Year

Melvina Maduro

The Life and Journy of a Transgender

A Transgender Man’s Personal Day of Remembrance and Vision for the Path Ahead        

It’s 2am. I’m leaning against a parking meter on a grungy, half lit street outside of a night club in San Francisco. The air around me is electric. I open one bleary eye to see the concerned and horrified faces of my friends.
Something is wrong.

I put my hands up to my face and I can almost feel the thick purple sludge of the bruises under my fingers, somewhere people are still yelling and all of the pain jumps to life under my skin. I’m alive, that much is painfully obvious.
It is January 6, 2008. I’ve just been hit over the head with a Patron Tequila bottle. As my bones gave way under the relentless force of that blow, some deeply held belief, some dark fear took root: I don’t deserve to be safe.

We don’t often celebrate survival. We enjoy the story of the character that overcomes, they who rise above or move beyond some tragic set of circumstances to experience a more palatable version of success – but not just surviving. Before the conditions can be met to thrive, one has to be assured of their ability to survive.

For thousands of transgender people around the world, survival is success. My story is not remarkable. For many of us, violence is inevitable. It is an unavoidable consequence of our choice to be true to ourselves. It’s not just the reaction that’s violent, it’s the process.

It’s a startling realization at a young age that something isn’t quite right. It’s the silent tears streaming down the face of the adolescent child looking back at you through the mirror at a body you can’t make peace with. It’s the ball of knots in the pit of your stomach when you wake at 4 am and realize you’re going to have to face tomorrow with that same face you have today. It’s the first time your shoved walking down the hall and suddenly you know that whatever it is you can see, so can they.
It’s the first time you ask yourself what’s wrong with you. It’s the last time you ask it thinking it might not be true and finally accept that you are what’s wrong.

It’s the insidious, thick web of thoughts that infest your mind and you find yourself consumed with self-doubt, hate, shame and fear. You have to survive. The idea is that it gets better, but really you get better. Somewhere along the way you either become strong enough to be true to yourself at all costs, or you don’t. You either face the pain and choose to live free, or you don’t. You either make a choice to follow that unique soul song inside of you against all odds and all notions about what you should or shouldn’t be – or you don’t.

And when you’ve finally wrestled with the internal aggression then you’ve got to face the world. The violence that transgender people face doesn’t stop at our skin, in either direction. There is an internal battle that rages alongside the external war for dignity and respect. It is an epidemic of fear and misunderstanding that costs so many transgender people their quality of life, if not their physical essence.

Even at a time of more mobility, more visibility and more possibility than any other generation of transgender lives, very few come through this journey unscathed.
And so we remember. Any culture that seeks to thrive must know and celebrate its history, so we choose to remember. Today, as we pause for Transgender Day of Rememberance, we honor the lives lost, more often than not, to brutal and degrading violence. For every name we read, we know there are hundreds we’ll never know. Thousands of names that have passed without recognition, without celebration, but with no less dignity. To those we’ve lost, by any means, we honor you today. To our brilliant advocates and activists who have stood on the front lines and shouldered the blows, we celebrate you. Thank you for your courage, your bravery, and your vision.

Until now, Transgender Day of Remembrance has been a solemn and sobering day of acknowledgement. Until now, we’ve had to endure stories of pain, heartache, loss and shame. Until now, until this generation, we’ve been a people who’ve struggled to survive amidst a vitriolic storm of misinformation and fear. Until now, when our social media feeds are flooded with stories of young children who claim themselves as whole at a young age and whose parents provide them with support. Until now, when we enter a grocery store and see Laverne Cox on the cover of TIME Magazine. Until now, when anyone, anywhere can open YoutTube and watch the journeys of hundreds of people making their transitions publicly, ask any question imaginable and find people just like them a few keystrokes away.

The narrative of our bodies has begun to evolve to include our humanity and provide us with dignity in a way that has not been possible at other times in history. The names, which are often read aloud at remembrance vigils, are often the only time these deaths will be acknowledged and the list is overwhelmingly populated by transgender women of color. Among transgender people, violence is an almost certain condition. Until now.

Our bodies are beautiful. They are complicated and unique. Our stories are powerful and profound.
They deserve to be heard, to be seen and to be celebrated.
Today, we remember those we’ve lost and I’d like to challenge us to celebrate those we have. Transgender bodies can offer us a window in to what is possible when we dare to break free from limited beliefs about biology and cultural constructs. They teach us about the strength of the human spirit when it refuses to be bound by what has been and has the courage to embody what can be. Our experiences may be unique, but our lessons are universal: Every body deserves to live Free. Until now, we’ve had to fight to survive.

Today, we remember to Thrive.