My Open Letter to the Two Gay Dads, Parents to One of the Most Special Boys in the World         

    

It all started with a haircut. Chad, a 22 year old young man, not out about his sexuality, got into Wayne’s chair at a salon. After discovering a sincere enjoyment of each other, they went on a date a week later. Over the course of a year, they realized their slow moving relationship had built into something very solid between them. At the time, they had no idea how solid it was going to have to be.
Others noticed their mutual devotion. In 1999, Wayne’s grandmother was the one who popped the question. “When are you two getting married?” she asked them. They politely explained that same sex marriage was not legal and Grandma gave them a look they will never forget. “She looked at us like we were a dumb as a sack of potatoes,” says Chad, “She asked us if we loved each other, and we said yes, so she asked again ‘So then when are you getting married?’” It was a wake up call for the couple. They had as they call it, their “aha” moment. It was not what was legal that was important in building a family. It was the love. A few years later, they would take this lesson further by demonstrating that family is not doing only what was required, but doing what is mandated by their hearts.
Wayne and Chad married three years before it was recognized in Canada. Wayne had always wanted to be a father as well, and one Christmas, he made a proposal to Chad. “We have a great life now, but it is time to grow. Do we want to be doing just the same thing in ten years? I want to share new challenges and adventures in life with you.” The proposition resonated with Chad.
Many would deny gay men the opportunity to be parents because they cannot biologically create children on their own. For Wayne and Chad, the ability to inadvertently procreate was not a negative. They found themselves enthused where others had a sense of resignation and defeat. “As a gay couple, adoption was our version of pregnancy from an excitement point of view.  For the straight couples we met, it was the final step in a difficult journey of infertility.  When we took our adoption classes (in Canada you have to take mandatory classes in order to qualify for adoption) we were on cloud 9 which was a noticeably different head space than most the other couples in the classes.”
Their happiness seemed to be fulfilled when a beautiful baby boy was born, and they named him Grayson. There were problems right away and they were informed that Grayson would require open-heart surgery, on which they signed off immediately. Four hours after the surgery, the men were informed of another issue. It had become apparent to the medical professionals that Grayson suffered from a potentially lethal disease called Maple Syrup Urine Disease (MSUD). MSUD patients are missing an enzyme to safely breakdown leucine (an amino acid in protein).  Without that breakdown, and by taking in too much protein on any given day, they suffer immediate and irreversible brain damage. When they were informed of Grayson’s condition, Wayne and Chad did not know whether or not Grayson’s brain had already been damaged. Wayne states, “It was for me perhaps one of the worst moments of my life. That moment was numbing, paralyzing.” They were told that they could back out of the adoption if they wanted to, and no one would judge them.
But, all they could think was, “If not us, then who?” They loved Grayson, and cared about him for four days. They had signed off and worried through life saving surgery. If they were intimidated away, certainly no one else was going to step in. Still they found resolve in the fact that they undertook their future life with a conscious decision. Chad states, “We actively chose our path. Birth parents in our situation do not get to choose.”
While taking ownership over their choice, it is readily apparent that the love within them was a compelling driver to what they had to do. They have received many well-intentioned sentiments, but due to the constant and intense challenges, some comments were inaccurately hollow. “We had a lot of people tell us Hallmark-like things like ‘Life only gives you want you can handle’.  I’m sure these types of statements make that person feel good, but it made us feel like crap as it seemed like this was way more that could handle at the time,” shares Chad.
“If not us, then who?” has also been their theme as they stood up to advocate against the disease, create awareness, and fight for kids with a variety of special needs diseases. “If not us, then who?”
The couple has made it a mission to reach out about MSUD and fight the disease. They have contacted celebrities, groups, and magazines — anyone who could help. One group has stepped forward more than any other. Wayne states, “It has been the gay community that has consistently reached back to help us move forward. That’s not to say we haven’t had the support of many, many others, but it is “our” community that seems to be the most willing to speak up and use their voice to help us and our son.” If not us, then who?
Grayson will never be “out of the woods”, but his dads, on a daily basis, keep him safe.  “We have a new heightened level of stress that we live in, all day, every day.  However, as Grayson’s blood is analyzed every week, they know down to the molecule if he has enough hydration, sodium, amino acids etc. Those results are then sent to his dietician and doctor who recalculate his meal plan.  The end result is that Grayson is almost bionic as he has the perfect intake a child his height/weight/activity level should have.  So we seem him as healthy, which he is.  It’s just his risks when he is unhealthy are extreme so we walk a fine line of health,” they report.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pxLe6Z8Q5wE
Their life goes on.  “Grayson has taught us to be present, to enjoy what we have today as it’s too stressful to think about the future. He has actively participated as the featured story/child in numerous fundraising campaigns, telethons and charity events.  We hope that a side benefit of this involvement is that it will help empower him, as he will see himself as a key player in helping the hospital, instead of just being an ongoing patient there.”
Grayson is growing to be the son of his dads. Grayson has made them laugh harder and smile longer. He is exceptionally brave and kind hearted.  He is social, funny and intuitive. Dad Wayne taught him to say greetings with a British accent which enhance his already insurmountable charm. Recently Grayson did a photo shoot with the mascot for a local Children’s hospital. He has loved the mascot for a while and was thrilled over the idea of being able to hang out with him.  Much to his dads’ surprise, instead of wanting to go off and play with the mascot alone, Grayson instead took the mascot’s hand and asked if they could go visit the other kids in the hospital.  He needed to take entertainment to the kids who needed it. If not Grayson, then who? That’s the kind of kid Grayson is growing up to be.
Here is my letter to Grayson’s dads:

Dear Dads,
I don’t think that in the history of parenting that there has been a group so disparaged as much as gay dads. It used to be that the concept was so foreign and so vilified that all the religious right had to do in order to drive homophobic fear into the hears of their constituents was to show them a picture of two men pushing a baby carriage.
Yet, in spite of such vilification men like you, and me, persevered. We had a love within that persisted and we knew there would be a child, or children, who deserved it. Over the time of knowing that was who I am, and fighting ignorance, I have met many incredible LGBT parents. The two of you are among the finest of them, and of any straight parents I have ever encountered either, for that matter.
I am proud to identify with you. Even though I cannot pretend to understand all you have been through, I am proud to be a gay man as you are, a father, and one who is ready to advocate and fight on behalf of a child, my child. There are children in need in this world, and many LGBT parents who are ready and willing to be there for them. A recent study speculated in fact that if all the LGBT couples who wanted to foster/adopt kids were allowed to, we would deplete the US system of kids in need. What a nice shortage for a society to have.
I defined this article by calling Grayson one of the most special boys in the world. Many parents will likely give me flack for that, myself included, as we all see our own kids as the most special. I am sticking by this label for Grayson however, and not because he has a disease that we must find a cure for, and not because he is beautiful, charming and wonderful.
He is of the most special boys in the world because he has you, the most special of parents. He has dads who are two ordinary men who have stepped up to do an extraordinary thing. Two men who discovered, as was said to you, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” Because of you, Grayson is more than a boy with a disease, he is blessed.
He is not alone. We are all blessed for knowing you and seeing of what a family is capable. You live one day at a time, and it has got to be draining. You have shown us a better vision of what it means to be dads and parents. You have made the world a better place.
If not you, then who? It needs to be all of us.

OUT' N' PROUD MEETS WITH THE PRESIDENT OF S.A.F.E SXM!!!

OUT’N’PROUD MEETS S.A.F.E SXM 

 MinelvaMaduro:
Please introduce yourself to the OUT’N’PROUD viewers.

Lysanne Charles:
My name is Lysanne Charles - Arrindell and I am one of the founders of St. Maarten/St Martin Alliance For Equality (SAFE or SAFE SXM for short) Foundation. I am also its first and current President. In addition to SAFE I am also busy with Foundation 5 Square Miles, which is an artist organization focused on poetry, spoken word and short story writing. I used to be a teacher, but I currently work for the Government of St. Maarten and I have been married to my beautiful wife for the last year and a half. And it's a pleasure to introduce myself and SAFE SXM to your viewers and encourage them to come out and join our activities.



MinelvaMaduro:
How long has S.A.F.E. SXM been in existence?

Lysanne Charles:
St. Maarten/St. Martin Alliance For Equality (SAFE SXM) Foundation came into existence in the second half of 2013. It was designed and developed over the course of about 4 months and was incorporated on December 10 of that year. So we are almost a year old already. December 10, is International Human Rights Day and we thought it was important that we legally establish the organization on that day in order to reflect the fact that LGBT Rights are in fact Human Rights. The core objectives of SAFE SXM are to empower LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual & Transgender) people on St. Maarten/St. Martin, advocate for their full inclusion in St. Maarten/St. Martin society and work towards a society free of stigma and/or discrimination for all people, but especially LGBT persons. The current members of SAFE SXM, in addition to myself, are Nadjesca Gumbs, Treasurer; Arman Hodge, Secretary; and Gerard van Osch, Nigel Lalman, Mylene Engel and Laurent Drouin Le May as members.

MinelvaMaduro:
What motivated you to form the alliance?

Lysanne Charles:
The motivation for St. Maarten/St. Martin Alliance For Equality (SAFE SXM) Foundation came out of a conversation between Arman Hodge, Nadjesca Gumbs, my wife Morenika Charles - Arrindell and myself, where we expressed the need for a local organization to advocate for LGBT rights and also to plan for ways to bring the community together. From that conversation, I believe in August 2013 or so, I created our facebook group and was introduced to Gerard van Osch, thereafter everything went pretty quickly with a meeting with an initial group of LGBT persons from which a board was designated in order to prepare the foundation. By the end of 2013 everything was in place, including the first board and calendar of events.

MinelvaMaduro:
How long have you know that you were gay?

 

Lysanne Charles:
Lol. I suppose as a child I always knew that I had a particular fondness for girls and women, but of course that was not with any real knowledge of what same-sex desire was. It was only later on when I was a teenager that I really began to understand that I liked girls, as well as boys and only later, later on when I was grown that I understood that in general I prefer women to men. Initially I had a hard time with that; I had been raised Catholic, believing that homosexuality was wrong, and not only wrong, but a sin, but after some time I came to term with my sexual orientation and accepted myself fully and that really opened up a lot of opportunities for happiness for me. I had to let go of the idea of my desires as a sinful and realize that I was almost daily committing the greatest sin against myself, which was not being true to myself and living an authentic life. Once I let go of that and embraced myself in all my nuances, life became more joyful.

MinelvaMaduro:
How and when did you came out?

Lysanne Charles:
Hmmmm, I would say that I had two coming outs. In the first case I told my mother, grandmother and best friends that I thought I liked women and that was already very early in my life, when I was still in my teens, but I had a boyfriend and wasn't really comfortable with the idea of being LGBT. Later on, when I was in my mid-20s it wasn't so much telling people, as just falling in love and having a very public relationship, which sort of made it known. Sometimes, I wish I would have been brave enough to confront and accept myself early on, but I realize that everyone's journey is different and things usually unfold as they must.

MinelvaMaduro:
Did you incur any difficulties when you came out?

Lysanne Charles:
When I initially came out I was told that it would be a phase. I don't think this was done maliciously, but was what everyone involved really believed, after all, I had a boyfriend. Later on when I was older and it came to people's attention that I was same-sex oriented I did not really have any real issues with people, I had worked through my feelings and so I was really comfortable with being open about my sexual orientation. I think it took some people a while to get used to it, but I have always just continued to be myself with people and usually they eventually realize that it's just the same old Lysanne and that my sexual orientation was not the sum of who I had been, was or would ever be.

 

MinelvaMaduro:
How can OUT’N’PROUDSXM and S.A.F.E. work together to encourage the young and old alike to come out? To let them know that it is ok to be who they are!!

Lysanne Charles:
St. Maarten/St. Martin Alliance For Equality (SAFE SXM) Foundation is interested in working with all willing organizations and individuals who are interested in advocating for the full emancipation and inclusion of LGBT people on the island. We encourage people to always be proud of who they are and stay true to themselves. We know that for some people coming out is harder than for others, so we urge people to accept themselves whether they are in or out and to be gentle with themselves during the whole process, because coming out is really just that; a process. It's not something that really happens from one day to the next, but takes some reflection and getting use to. Further we want people to always exercise wisdom in coming out and to put their safety first. For people for whom it would be unsafe to come out immediately we encourage them to, when and where they can, still find ways to engage with LGBT people and/or organizations that can support and empower them. For people for whom it is easier we encourage them to come out when they are ready and confident about who they are and to also always offer support and encourage to others they may know.

MinelvaMaduro:
Can you please outline a few activities that S.A.F.E. will be hosting in the months to come?

Lysanne Charles:
St. Maarten/St. Martin Alliance For Equality (SAFE SXM) will be hosting a discussion meeting on Thursday, October 16th at 7:30pm at the office of the Aids Foundation, on Saturday, November 25th we will be partying at Eros for Halloween, on Sunday, November 9th we be hiking (location to be decided) at 6:30am, on Saturday, November 15th we will have a theatrical production entitled "Don't be afraid of Rainbows" at the John Larmonie Center, in Philipsburg, on Thursday, November 20th we will have a discussion meeting on Relationship Baggage: What to take with you and what to leave behind) at the Office of Aides in Concordia, on Sunday, December 7th, we will be hiking across the Causeway Bridge either in the morning at 6:30am for sunrise or in the evening around 5pm for sunset, then on Wednesday, December 10th we will have our first International Human Rights Day lecture on our 1st Anniversary, this will be at the University of St. Martin at 7:30pm, on Saturday, December 13th we will have the second run of Don't be afraid of Rainbows, again at John Larmonie Center, in Philipsburg and there may be a Old Year's Eve Rainbow Party (but that will be announced later on.) We also have a pretty full schedule for next year as well. In addition we will be hosting the annual Pink Orange Alliance (POA) meeting in November of 2014. We advise anyone interested in our activities to add us on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/safe.sxm. And we encourage everyone to come out and be with us and with each other, whether they are lesbian, gay, bi, trans or ally.

MinelvaMaduro:
I myself didn’t know about S.A.F.E. SXM; I heard about it from a colleague. How can we utilize the medium that we have now to let others know about S.A.F.E. SXM and OUT’N’PROUD SXM?

Lysanne Charles:Our idea is to let the organization grow organically, so mainly we are using word of mouth and also the facebook and g+ pages and safe sxm website. We also network a lot with regional partners so that others outside of the island can know about us also and we also issue press releases about the organization as often as is necessary.

MinelvaMaduro:
What message do you have for the teenagers that are struggling to come out, and for the older ones that have it all bottled up inside?

Lysanne Charles:
You know for the teens I would say take your time. Like I said above coming out is a process, so first learn to accept yourself and really come to terms with what it means to be LGBT, most importantly BE PROUD OF YOURSELF ALWAYS. Then evaluate the people around you to see who will be supportive of you, once you have determined who will be there for you then you can confide in them. Always choose wisely when it comes to telling people, make sure you are not putting yourself in any danger. Once you are out, do not let negative people rattle you and  do not become drawn into uncomfortable conversations with people who seek to put you down. Also though do not retaliate with anger when people attack you verbally based on religious or cultural stances, just let them know you are comfortable and confident with who you are and continue on your way.

Lysanne Charles:
Teenagers tend to be more vulnerable, because they are often still dependent on their parents for many things, including housing, food, clothing, school fees and books, etc. So while people may want to say, just come out, often this is not possible. Where and when it is, we definitely encourage teens to do so, but where and when it is not, we encourage teens to be cautious and exercise wisdom in their approaches. For older individuals, coming out can also be a lengthy process. Again, I would encourage them to become comfortable with the idea of being LGBT and to fully accept themselves. There are people who are afraid to accept that they are LGBT either because of religious reasons or societal stigmas. I would encourage them to research and read more about LGBT history and persons and they would see that same-sex desires and relationships are in fact a part of human history. A lot of biblical passages have been taken out of context and are used to promote anti-gay sentiments in the Caribbean, but contextual readings show that those passages do not actually speak to homosexuality in the ways for which they are currently used. Knowledge is power, so read and research to gain knowledge to empower yourselves. Also get in contact with LGBT persons and/or organizations for support and encouragement, realize you are not alone in this and that you do not have to keep everything bottled up inside.

MinelvaMaduro:
How can you make them feel comfortable enough and welcome, to come to S.A.F.E. SXM and express themselves?

Lysanne Charles:
Well everyone is welcomed at SAFE SXM events, whether you are LGBT, Questioning or an Ally. We pass no judgment on people and encourage persons, particularly LGBT people, to come out and discuss, hike, party, etc., with us. They are welcomed, whether they come individually or in groups, they are welcomed. SAFE SXM events are just that, SAFE spaces and places for LGBT people, so come on out and see that you are free to be you in whatever way you come. 

MinelvaMaduro:
I would like to thank Ms. Lysanne Charles Arrindell, for her interview and words of encouragement and wisdom.  Its alright to be yourself, and not get caught up in the Homophobic behavior of others. S.A.F.E SXM and thier allies are there for each and everyone of us.  Again thank you Lysanne, and I hope to have many more dialog with you in the near future.  THANK YOU!!!!

                                           MINELVA MADURO/ LYSANNE CHARLES.

WHAT TRUE FAMILY REALLY MEANS OR NOT!!!!!!

When a Homophobic Cousin Attacked a Woman’s Marriage, He Helped Her Understand What True “Family” Mean

Posted on October 6, 2014 by robw77

Once upon a time there were two cousins, Jessica and Robby. They grew up together in the warm and wet Mississippi back lands. They swam, they fished and Jessica loved and respected her cousin. He gave her the sense of understanding family and loyalty.

That sense of family and loyalty was upended completely recently when Robby recently ran to the American Family Association, an entity defined by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a “hate” organization, to get their help in humiliating and attacking Jessica’s marriage. Robby has never met Jessica’s husband.
Jessica and her husband, Nick, are legally married. Nick is a transgender male. A mutual friend introduced them a few years ago. Jessica states, “Nick has been my best friend since day one. We can always count on the other one during the hardest times in life. While he was in paramedic school, Nick felt my full encouragement through the whole way and I never gave up on his dream with him.  We stand by each other through every thing just as a husband and wife should. I know at the end of the day I can count on him and that’s what real romance looks like. Our love is the kind some people only dream about and I’m very lucky to be able to say I found that in this life with him.”
On the afternoon of September 23^rd, Jessica got a private message from her cousin Robby out of the blue. It said “Jessica, I want you to know that I love you both as a person and as my family. You hand I practically grew up together, and I don’t want you to think that I am angry with you. But I have to tell you that what you and Nick are doing is wrong, and I am going to be doing all that I can to challenge it. I realize this might upset you, but I have to do what is right as difficult as it is going to be.” Jessica had no idea what he meant about “challenging it”, but she was soon to find out.
That evening, Robby posted this to his Facebook wall: “Last week I learned of a same sex marriage that took place right here in the state of Mississippi. Two females, one of which is a family member of mine, applied for and was granted an official marriage license in Desoto county. One of the partners poses as a man and managed to obtain a driver’s license that legally identified her as a male. I would like to urge all Mississippians who are outraged to join me. This is a battle that has come to us and we cannot afford to lose traditional marriage”. Then he then gave the phone numbers of the attorney general, lieutenant governor and the governor.
Around midnight, Jessica received another private message from a woman she had never met. “You need to see this video,” the message said. The video was her cousin Robby on a show with the AFA’s Bryan Fisher. Bryan Fisher is infamous for homophobic statements that include the encouragement of the kidnapping of children from LGBT families. They were making public Jessica and Nick’s names, implying that they were criminals, that their marriage was a fraud scheme and stating out and out lies as fact. The video is here .
“The video makes it seem like we did all of this to pull one over on the state of Mississippi, and that’s nowhere close to the truth.” Jessica told me. “Mine is not an illegal marriage in any state, because it is not a same sex union at all. That is not legal in this state, and there is no “loop hole” for that to be possible. Nick actually transitioned from female to male, and had his name and gender legally changed complete with birth certificate, social security card, drivers license, and all medical licenses. After all of that was completed we were able to apply for our marriage license and got married, the same as any other opposite gender couple.” Bryan Fisher characterizes Jessica and Nick as two lesbians, one of which had a hormone shot, and then fraudulently had records changed.
Nick’s process to his correct gender started before 2010. He had undergone full psychiatric exams in preparation. In 2010 he started a permanent hormone therapy program and had physiological operations in support of his transition.
Nick works as a paramedic saving lives and he has been seen as a true hero in his community. The AFA’s intrusion into his private life, and their dishonest portrayal has now caused him issues at work. Jessica reports, “While he is out saving strangers lives, we have to worry about the safety of our family and his career. It takes teamwork from his fellow co-workers and since the videos and articles have come out, he has been treated like an outcast.” Many that Nick worked with had only known of him as male, his actual gender. Now feel they have license to judge.
Jessica reached out to the popular Twitter site Stop-Homophobia. “Help us,” she asked, attaching a link to the AFA video. She began hearing from many people who have showered love and support. Those messages helped her deal with her feelings of betrayal and crisis over what family was supposed to be about. “For me when I saw the video I felt it was one of the worst betrayals ever, to find out that someone made us out so horribly, and on top of it for it to come from a family member. The feelings we felt over this outrage, words can’t describe. We are being vilified for the same loving and commitment other married Mississippi couples share with each other. Our right to commit to each other for the rest of time is being portrayed as everything it’s not. The video want to portray us as deceivers who did all of this to pull one over on the state of Mississippi, and that’s nowhere close to the truth. The truth is our marriage is built out of the love we have for each other.”
“We are very grateful for the support and love that we have come across through this attempt to humiliate us,” Jessica states. “So much of our family have stepped up and let us know they are open minded and accepting and loving. The members of Nick’s family are powerful defenders of him as a man and a hero. Especially his dad, who has always been his biggest supporter. My family accepts Nick as the person for who he really is, especially my sister and most of them right here in Mississippi.”
This has given Jessica and Nick a new definition to, not the word “marriage”, but the word “family”. Blood cousin Robby is not family. The “American Family Association” is not an association of families; it is an association of those who want to attack families that do not look exactly like a set of limited parameters. Those who see his life saving work but who cannot see Nick as he is, are not family. It is the people who love, support and celebrate him who are the true family, and Jessica and Nick are blessed to have many who have such qualifications in their lives.
“Nick taught me what marriage is,” Jessica commented. “Now someone I grew up with has caused me to re-look at what I thought being family meant. It does not mean blood and telling falsehoods to meet an agenda. It means love and honesty. I stand corrected, and we are now a stronger family as a result.”
Sharing DNA is no big deal. A person’s ability to look deep, push past their own pre-conceived notions to better understand a family member they love, and then stand up for them, that ability brings the greatest value in life. Some will learn they have that ability within themselves and stand proud. Others will make videos.

Gay couples cheer U.S. Supreme Court move, make wedding, family plans

Monday, 06 October 2014 19:22

SALT LAKE CITY-- Marina Gomberg was in bed on Monday morning when she heard the news that the U.S. Supreme Court had effectively made gay marriage legal again in Utah and she immediately started dreaming that she and her wife could become mothers.
"We can actually start thinking about starting a family. We are going to be moms! It feels like a really big day, personally and for the rest of the state," said Gomberg.
The Supreme Court on Monday rejected appeals in gay marriage cases involving five states - Virginia, Oklahoma, Utah, Wisconsin and Indiana - that had prohibited gay marriage, leaving intact lower-court rulings striking down those bans.
For Gomberg, 30, an employee at the University of Utah, the move means that she and her wife can take the next step in their relationship.
Gomberg and Elenor Heyborne married in December of last year in Salt Lake City, among roughly 1,300 gay couples who wed after the state's gay marriage ban was initially lifted by a federal judge, before such marriages were later put on hold pending appeals.
As a result of the Supreme Court decision on Monday, the number of U.S. states permitting gay marriage would jump from 19 to 24, likely soon to be followed by six more states that are bound by the regional federal appeals court rulings that had struck down bans. That would leave another 20 states that prohibit same-sex marriage.
For some same-sex couples, the decision means the state where they live must recognize the marriage they had performed out of state.
Amy Sandler, 37, of Munster, Indiana, said Monday's announcement brings some peace of mind for her and her wife Niki Quasney, 38, who has stage-four overian cancer, and their two toddlers.
Sandler and Quasney were married in Massachusetts in August 2013, but now Indiana, where they live, will have to recognize the marriage.
"It makes us know that we have legal backing like any other married couple, whether it's recognizing our family, whether it's moving our state forward socially, whether it's walking into a hospital," Sandler said.
Although the Supreme Court did not make a definitive ruling on gay marriage, Sandler felt the justices had sent a strong message.
In Norman, Oklahoma, ordained minister Jessica Fisher said she had been waiting for this news and is poised to perform a wedding ceremony for a same-sex couple she knows as soon as they are ready.
"I'm not sure if they will file for a marriage license today or not. They were very surprised to hear the news today, but it's the ruling they have been waiting for," Fisher said. "They asked me to become ordained so I could officiate their marriage, if it happened."
Fisher said the couple was married in a civil ceremony this year in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, but has been unable to file the official paperwork and license in Oklahoma.
In Wisconsin a county clerk said he does not expect a flood of license filings, but those that come in will be issued.
"This ruling does not come with the fear that there will be another stay or appeal," said Dane County Clerk Scott McDonell in the county that includes Wisconsin's state capital of Madison.
"If couples come, we will treat them like any other couple," McDonell said.

ALEXANDER DICK'S OPINION ON SAME SEX COUPLES!!!!!

Hi, I would like to share this thought that I've been walking around with for a very long time.  It's about couples with the same sex.  This is not an "issue" at all.  People who don't agree with it, makes it an issue.  I mean WHY?  Why do you have to worry yourself about other people's life, with who they have been with, or with whom they have in their life.  While you're wasting your time on nonsense, we're living our lives and making the best out of it because you only live once.  So I think you should better do the same and stop over-reacting about GAY COUPLES and mind your own damn business; I really don't see the point.
The Givenchy, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Versace and Dolce & Gabbana you're bragging around with is from a Gay/ homosexual man who has an incredible talent for fashion.  So please, keep your comments to yourselves.  They also have partners of the same sex, well not all of them, but the point is you're wearing clothes or brands of Homosexual men.  I know that some people may feel uncomfortable, especially religious people when they see couples of the same sex holding hands and kissing.  It's unusual right?  But that doesn't mean that you have to discriminate against us and act as if  we're not HUMAN BEINGS.  We live in the same world and we breathe in the same air.  Some people are trying to understand, but some never will.
Many couples are afraid to walk together on the street or they even have secret relationships.  I think it depends on the country.  Holland is very GAY friendly and approves marriage of the same sex, and Uganda is the complete opposite of that...You can't even wear pink, because they will burn you alive.  It's really a sad thing to see, how people treat their own fellowmen.  Again it doesn't solve anything.  It's bad publicity, you're giving your country a terrible image, so why behave the way you do?  What did you get out of it at the end of the day?  Nothing positive can come out of it.  You made your country and yourself  look bad and ridiculous.
 These are a few things that most of us fear and we hide our personal life from the world. I clearly understand that, its normal.  People say that the bible does not approve this action, that it's a sin.  But how could I believe in a book that has "not" been properly translated since the beginning of time?  It has been written over from hand to hand until now.  Why do we even exist?  Why are we in this world if we're against God's Law?

Tell me what is your opinion!!!!!

GRACIAS, XOXO *WINK EYE*
Always be yourself, don't let anyone change you!!!
ALEXANDER DICK/ MINELVA MADURO.

ALEXANDER DICK: OPINION ABOUT BEING GAY IN CURACAO VERSUS ST. MAARTEN.

I think that being GAY IN CURACAO, is harder than in ST. MAARTEN.  If you're gay and living in CURACAO, then you know exactly what I mean.  People will call you names.  If you're a gay guy behaving like a girl, "BEWARE".  It will get worse, you may get beaten by a group of homophobic dudes.

I've been to St. Maarten three (3) times, and its different from Curacao.  If I'm not wrong, the only thing I've noticed is that the people on St. Maarten, will give you looks or stare at you as if you were an EXTRATERRESTRIAL CREATURE they've never seen before.  Well, I feel great about it, knowing that I'm getting noticed; they're making me REMARKABLE.

In my mind, I still feel sad for other GAYS and LESBIANS here on St. Maarten, that doesn't have the support from their FAMILIES, or they don't have the courage to be who they really are, or they keep hiding in their own shadow as if it will remain an eternal secret.

I can assure you that hiding doesn't make anything better.  It goes from bad to worse, you cannot do anything like a normal person, because you're striving to not get noticed.  For me, it's impossible to not get noticed by other people.  People are all up in your business like "WENDY WILLIAMS", so it's impossible.

I personally never "CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET", in fact I was never in the CLOSET, I was well afraid, but then things started to be normal for me.  I got exposed to the GAY WORLD, when I took part in a pageant for GAY PEOPLE when I were only mere 15 years old.  I got 1st runner- up and MISS ELEGANCE, and that's when I got a lot of attention from people.

They have been asking on the streets if I was the guy that got 1st runner- up in the contest.  I simply replied with a "BIG FAT NO", you're wrong man, because at that moment, I didn't want my MOM to know cause I hadn't told her as yet.

Somehow she got a hold of a picture of me performing on stage, and I felt ashamed to see her looking with gazing eyes.  Everything went okay after she got the news, and I have plans on entering the pageant again and this time to win.

I think everyone deserves to live a happy healthy life, and everyone should have the same rights in order to have WORLD PEACE as they claim in pageants.  It's not our fault we're like this.....  It's not a decision that has been taken when our parents gave birth to us, WE ARE BORN THIS WAY, so be happy with yourselves; pick yourselves up and turn the world into a more TOLERABLE AND ACCEPTING PLACE.   DON'T FORGET WHAT I SAID!!!!  PUT A STOP TO HOMOPHOBIA NOW!!!!!!!!  GRACIAS!!!


ALEXANDER DICK : XOXO

ALEXANDER DICK: "COMING OUT STORY " PART 1

As a little boy, I grew up with my grandmother because my mother was not ready for me.  I was her unexpected child child, because she was not ready to have a child.  She was only 20 years old, she had no job, no money and she did not finish school.  That's why my granny had to take over and raise me "properly" on her own.  With properly I meant extremely strict and with a lot of manners.  I started feeling like a prince.

Growing up with highly exaggerated house rules and manners made me feel like I was not at home in my own home.  I could not express myself the way I wanted to.  When I was 9 years old my mother claimed that she was ready since her 16th birthday.  According to my mother, my grandmother was exaggerating the whole situation that she could not handle a child.  After two (2) weeks of fighting over who was going to stay with the child my mother won.  I went to live with my mother and her partner.  My mother was not strict at all.  She was a regular teenager/ young mom trying to have some fun, even though she had a child.

As the days passed by, I started to realize that her partner was the finest thing I had ever seen.  He was like an African-American supermodel or a highly paid pornstar.  He was tall and a really nice guy.  He was dark skinned, really nice shaped muscles and bright white teeth.  He was just a  desirable man, the solution to most of my worries.

Later on in puberty, I started to behave and act like a lady at school.  The students were calling me names constantly, it was a nightmare.  Being bullied at school made me realize that my grandmother was protecting me.  She was protecting me in such a way with her extreme set of house rules from getting noticed or even bullied.  I always say, "you can't hide the sun with one finger".  As the days kept passing I started to get more attracted to boys.  It didn't seem like I had a choice, I didn't have to choose between boys and girls.  I just happened to like guys, especially my mom's partner, because this guy sleeps and walks naked in the mid-night so I could see him every night.

Let's move on.  My mom loved to buy me boyish stuff and toys. I only used to play with them once and then I'd put them aside.  I was more interested in dolls and girly stuff that my mom prohibited me to play with, but every weekend  I used to go to my cousin's house and played dolls with her.  I would even borrow 2 or 3 dolls to play with secretly in my room when I reached home.  As I was growing up, I started watching girly tv series and pageants, as I started to get more and more attracted to boys.  When I was 15, I was in my lotus bloom.  I wanted to discover more about being GAY, and explore the world around me, that my family had hidden from me.  They were treating like a mutant or a person who had some wierd disease.

Do you know the popular song from Indina Menzel, "LET IT GO"?  Well I felt quite like that.  I was 15, I was this pretty young boy that wanted to know everything about having feelings for the same sex.  At first, I thought that this was wrong or I'd been cursed somehow, but then I realized that it's something inside of me that cannot be reversed or taken away.  It's a part of you that makes you who you really are.  Nothing can change you, and after that I started being fearless.  When I was 16 years old, I was so confident about myself that even my straight friends started to admire me, and the strong personality that I have.  Even though I was sweet and nice, I spoke my mind and did whatever I liked to.  You can break me down, you can throw me now, the harder out, the harder I come back around.

You can break my heart, but you can't scratch me.  I can take a 'hit', because I am an indestructible boomerang with this thought in my mind.  I opened and close many doors of people, I experience good and also very bad moments in my life.  Being GAY  IS A TOUGH THING, AND I'VE LEARNED HOW TO MANAGE IT.  I have a lot of friends, people who love me and admire me.  I have a wonderful boyfriend that supports me in everything, so why should I care when they're calling me names or talk shit behind my back?  I'm not wasting my voice and time on worthless people.

People were gossiping since the beginning of time so why should you care?  It's your life!  Acceptance is the only key to truly being free.  I know that this world is a nightmare for most of you out there, but all you have to do is BE STRONG!!!  With my 18 years of life, I can say I did a lot and confronted many obstacles, BUT I'M STILL A FEARLESS BITCH.!!  GRACIAS!


ALEXANDER DICK xoxo.