I think that being GAY IN CURACAO, is harder than in ST. MAARTEN. If you're gay and living in CURACAO, then you know exactly what I mean. People will call you names. If you're a gay guy behaving like a girl, "BEWARE". It will get worse, you may get beaten by a group of homophobic dudes.
I've been to St. Maarten three (3) times, and its different from Curacao. If I'm not wrong, the only thing I've noticed is that the people on St. Maarten, will give you looks or stare at you as if you were an EXTRATERRESTRIAL CREATURE they've never seen before. Well, I feel great about it, knowing that I'm getting noticed; they're making me REMARKABLE.
In my mind, I still feel sad for other GAYS and LESBIANS here on St. Maarten, that doesn't have the support from their FAMILIES, or they don't have the courage to be who they really are, or they keep hiding in their own shadow as if it will remain an eternal secret.
I can assure you that hiding doesn't make anything better. It goes from bad to worse, you cannot do anything like a normal person, because you're striving to not get noticed. For me, it's impossible to not get noticed by other people. People are all up in your business like "WENDY WILLIAMS", so it's impossible.
I personally never "CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET", in fact I was never in the CLOSET, I was well afraid, but then things started to be normal for me. I got exposed to the GAY WORLD, when I took part in a pageant for GAY PEOPLE when I were only mere 15 years old. I got 1st runner- up and MISS ELEGANCE, and that's when I got a lot of attention from people.
They have been asking on the streets if I was the guy that got 1st runner- up in the contest. I simply replied with a "BIG FAT NO", you're wrong man, because at that moment, I didn't want my MOM to know cause I hadn't told her as yet.
Somehow she got a hold of a picture of me performing on stage, and I felt ashamed to see her looking with gazing eyes. Everything went okay after she got the news, and I have plans on entering the pageant again and this time to win.
I think everyone deserves to live a happy healthy life, and everyone should have the same rights in order to have WORLD PEACE as they claim in pageants. It's not our fault we're like this..... It's not a decision that has been taken when our parents gave birth to us, WE ARE BORN THIS WAY, so be happy with yourselves; pick yourselves up and turn the world into a more TOLERABLE AND ACCEPTING PLACE. DON'T FORGET WHAT I SAID!!!! PUT A STOP TO HOMOPHOBIA NOW!!!!!!!! GRACIAS!!!
ALEXANDER DICK : XOXO
As a little boy, I grew up with my grandmother because my mother was not ready for me. I was her unexpected child child, because she was not ready to have a child. She was only 20 years old, she had no job, no money and she did not finish school. That's why my granny had to take over and raise me "properly" on her own. With properly I meant extremely strict and with a lot of manners. I started feeling like a prince.
Growing up with highly exaggerated house rules and manners made me feel like I was not at home in my own home. I could not express myself the way I wanted to. When I was 9 years old my mother claimed that she was ready since her 16th birthday. According to my mother, my grandmother was exaggerating the whole situation that she could not handle a child. After two (2) weeks of fighting over who was going to stay with the child my mother won. I went to live with my mother and her partner. My mother was not strict at all. She was a regular teenager/ young mom trying to have some fun, even though she had a child.
As the days passed by, I started to realize that her partner was the finest thing I had ever seen. He was like an African-American supermodel or a highly paid pornstar. He was tall and a really nice guy. He was dark skinned, really nice shaped muscles and bright white teeth. He was just a desirable man, the solution to most of my worries.
Later on in puberty, I started to behave and act like a lady at school. The students were calling me names constantly, it was a nightmare. Being bullied at school made me realize that my grandmother was protecting me. She was protecting me in such a way with her extreme set of house rules from getting noticed or even bullied. I always say, "you can't hide the sun with one finger". As the days kept passing I started to get more attracted to boys. It didn't seem like I had a choice, I didn't have to choose between boys and girls. I just happened to like guys, especially my mom's partner, because this guy sleeps and walks naked in the mid-night so I could see him every night.
Let's move on. My mom loved to buy me boyish stuff and toys. I only used to play with them once and then I'd put them aside. I was more interested in dolls and girly stuff that my mom prohibited me to play with, but every weekend I used to go to my cousin's house and played dolls with her. I would even borrow 2 or 3 dolls to play with secretly in my room when I reached home. As I was growing up, I started watching girly tv series and pageants, as I started to get more and more attracted to boys. When I was 15, I was in my lotus bloom. I wanted to discover more about being GAY, and explore the world around me, that my family had hidden from me. They were treating like a mutant or a person who had some wierd disease.
Do you know the popular song from Indina Menzel, "LET IT GO"? Well I felt quite like that. I was 15, I was this pretty young boy that wanted to know everything about having feelings for the same sex. At first, I thought that this was wrong or I'd been cursed somehow, but then I realized that it's something inside of me that cannot be reversed or taken away. It's a part of you that makes you who you really are. Nothing can change you, and after that I started being fearless. When I was 16 years old, I was so confident about myself that even my straight friends started to admire me, and the strong personality that I have. Even though I was sweet and nice, I spoke my mind and did whatever I liked to. You can break me down, you can throw me now, the harder out, the harder I come back around.
You can break my heart, but you can't scratch me. I can take a 'hit', because I am an indestructible boomerang with this thought in my mind. I opened and close many doors of people, I experience good and also very bad moments in my life. Being GAY IS A TOUGH THING, AND I'VE LEARNED HOW TO MANAGE IT. I have a lot of friends, people who love me and admire me. I have a wonderful boyfriend that supports me in everything, so why should I care when they're calling me names or talk shit behind my back? I'm not wasting my voice and time on worthless people.
People were gossiping since the beginning of time so why should you care? It's your life! Acceptance is the only key to truly being free. I know that this world is a nightmare for most of you out there, but all you have to do is BE STRONG!!! With my 18 years of life, I can say I did a lot and confronted many obstacles, BUT I'M STILL A FEARLESS BITCH.!! GRACIAS!
ALEXANDER DICK xoxo.
The life that I'm iving is not easy, but I wake up every morning with a smile and give God thanks, for letting me live to see another day. I'm in a relationship with both MALE and FEMALE, and it becomes hard at times to divide my heart in two (2).
My girlfriend lives on a different island, and my boyfriend on St. Maarten. I know there's a saying, "if you're not living on the same island or country, then it's not a relationship." My girlfriend and I have been going out for two (2) years now, and we have been through hell and back.
She loves my daughter as if she were her own. My
boyfriend and I have the same amount of years together. He has been through soo much with me as well. My family isn't proud of me for being who Iam today. Me being a young bisexual young lady is the life that I know and I'm very proud . My girlfriend don't mind that I have a boyfriend, but on the other hand, my boyfriend don't like the fact that I'm dating a girl. When entering a relationship with a guy, I always tell them that I date girls, and I'm proud that I do so. Most guys would say no problem, and some would want you to give it up. My relationships haven't been easy with both male and female, but I can say I'M A PROUD BISEXUAL, AND I'M HAPPY SHARING MY STORY WITH OUT'N'PROUD!!!!!!
