OUT & PROUD IN SXM FAN INTERVIEW

Our First Fan Interview with Shama Flurton

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Happy Valentine's Day

FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions)

Question: Who are what inspired me to start this blog?

Answer: First of all, let me say this to you; be honest, be transparent, you don't have anything to hide. If they cannot deal with your honesty, that's their problem, not yours.

With that said, I've been working on this for a long time now. My problem was figuring out which angle to take when putting my thoughts out there. Constantly watching people hurting because of their sexual preferences, because their scared of what their families and peers would think of them is not an easy burden to carry around.

I've watched Mrs. Crystal Chappell Sabatino on a few shows now, helping others to come out and to be proud of who they are. And I followed her lead and said "now is the time for me to launch my blog" and to do the same; helping others like myself to come out and be proud. Nothing happens before its time and now is my time.

I'm proud of who I am and having others come out makes me happy. Again I must thank Crystal Chappell for the inspiration and the push.

Remember the journey towards happiness is the most rewarding part of the adventure you call life.

M. Maduro.

Relationships 101 Part Two: When a Lesbian enters into a relationship with a straight woman

I’ve found love in the strangest of times and places; when you find love, some people say its forever. And I too thought it would be forever.

In life you want nothing else other than to be loved by someone and to be the most important person in their lives. Well… when I was in my late 20’s, I thought I found that person. She was everything that you would think: She was caring, nurturing, loving and she also knew when I needed cheering and when I needed to be comforted. And I returned the same sentiments. I was so happy, it was as if I was on cloud 9.

Our relationship was unique, one of a kind. I say one of a kind because she was straight.  She didn’t fall for me because I’m a woman; she fell for me because of the type of person I was to her. Our relationship was new and so different and we were so happy together. Now me being gay, thought that she had experienced being with a woman before, but she expressed that she never thought about being with a woman and it never occurred to her that she may be attracted to a woman. But when she met me, feelings developed that she couldn’t explain.

I asked myself many times…why did she choose me?!? And her answer was simply “I’m not with you because you’re a woman, it’s because of who you are with me”. We would go out to dinner and walk in the park time. And sometimes when we go out, I would point out certain women to her. She then came straight out and told me point blank that “I am the first and the last”. Meaning if we were to break up then and there, she would find another guy.

She was not the least interested in any other woman. These types of women are not lesbians, bisexuals or whatever name you choose to give them. They are straight women. In the past, to my astonishment, I found myself having more of those types of relationships.  But being a lesbian, you’ll have it in the back of your mind that your partner is going to leave you and go be with a man. So with that thought alone, you’ll sabotage your own relationship with her. Even though you know that the whole time together, she never cheated on you.

At this point, everything was on the edge. She’s telling me that she never thought in a million years that I would do that to her (Accusing her of leaving you for another). Now, I never thought about hurting her, I was thinking of protecting myself from all the pain and suffering for when she decided it was time for her to move on.

With my one looming insecurity of her leaving me, we finally broke it off. She’s now happily married with a family of her own. We’ve remained good friends and whenever I do get to see her, I would always smile and say to her “that was the best decision we both made, to sever ties as partners and just be friends.”

Whenever you see others, don’t compare your life to theirs and don’t judge them. You have no idea what their journey has been all about. Now that I’m much older and wiser, I would have made the same decision as I did back then. Sometimes in life, you have to make sacrifices and I did make the right one, because I can see how happy she is today. Time does heal almost everything; you just have to give it time.

So… no more straight or bisexual women in my life. That’s a no-no in my book, if I want to be truly happy. A real relationship has trust, has faith, has tears, has hurt, has laughter and has weird stupid and unnecessary arguments.  My problem back then was not believing in what I had with her because I was afraid of committing to a women who I thought didn’t care enough about me because of her past. Don’t get me wrong! Some relationships like I had, actually do work. But for me it’s just not going to happen again, it’s a no-no. That’s why I don’t mix with certain women, who claim to be lesbians.

M. Maduro