OUT’N’PROUD MEETS S.A.F.E SXM
Please introduce yourself to the OUT’N’PROUD viewers.
My name is Lysanne Charles - Arrindell and I am one of the founders of St. Maarten/St Martin Alliance For Equality (SAFE or SAFE SXM for short) Foundation. I am also its first and current President. In addition to SAFE I am also busy with Foundation 5 Square Miles, which is an artist organization focused on poetry, spoken word and short story writing. I used to be a teacher, but I currently work for the Government of St. Maarten and I have been married to my beautiful wife for the last year and a half. And it's a pleasure to introduce myself and SAFE SXM to your viewers and encourage them to come out and join our activities.
MinelvaMaduro:How long has S.A.F.E. SXM been in existence?
St. Maarten/St. Martin Alliance For Equality (SAFE SXM) Foundation came into existence in the second half of 2013. It was designed and developed over the course of about 4 months and was incorporated on December 10 of that year. So we are almost a year old already. December 10, is International Human Rights Day and we thought it was important that we legally establish the organization on that day in order to reflect the fact that LGBT Rights are in fact Human Rights. The core objectives of SAFE SXM are to empower LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual & Transgender) people on St. Maarten/St. Martin, advocate for their full inclusion in St. Maarten/St. Martin society and work towards a society free of stigma and/or discrimination for all people, but especially LGBT persons. The current members of SAFE SXM, in addition to myself, are Nadjesca Gumbs, Treasurer; Arman Hodge, Secretary; and Gerard van Osch, Nigel Lalman, Mylene Engel and Laurent Drouin Le May as members.
What motivated you to form the alliance?
The motivation for St. Maarten/St. Martin Alliance For Equality (SAFE SXM) Foundation came out of a conversation between Arman Hodge, Nadjesca Gumbs, my wife Morenika Charles - Arrindell and myself, where we expressed the need for a local organization to advocate for LGBT rights and also to plan for ways to bring the community together. From that conversation, I believe in August 2013 or so, I created our facebook group and was introduced to Gerard van Osch, thereafter everything went pretty quickly with a meeting with an initial group of LGBT persons from which a board was designated in order to prepare the foundation. By the end of 2013 everything was in place, including the first board and calendar of events.
How long have you know that you were gay?
Lol. I suppose as a child I always knew that I had a particular fondness for girls and women, but of course that was not with any real knowledge of what same-sex desire was. It was only later on when I was a teenager that I really began to understand that I liked girls, as well as boys and only later, later on when I was grown that I understood that in general I prefer women to men. Initially I had a hard time with that; I had been raised Catholic, believing that homosexuality was wrong, and not only wrong, but a sin, but after some time I came to term with my sexual orientation and accepted myself fully and that really opened up a lot of opportunities for happiness for me. I had to let go of the idea of my desires as a sinful and realize that I was almost daily committing the greatest sin against myself, which was not being true to myself and living an authentic life. Once I let go of that and embraced myself in all my nuances, life became more joyful.
How and when did you came out?
Hmmmm, I would say that I had two coming outs. In the first case I told my mother, grandmother and best friends that I thought I liked women and that was already very early in my life, when I was still in my teens, but I had a boyfriend and wasn't really comfortable with the idea of being LGBT. Later on, when I was in my mid-20s it wasn't so much telling people, as just falling in love and having a very public relationship, which sort of made it known. Sometimes, I wish I would have been brave enough to confront and accept myself early on, but I realize that everyone's journey is different and things usually unfold as they must.
Did you incur any difficulties when you came out?
When I initially came out I was told that it would be a phase. I don't think this was done maliciously, but was what everyone involved really believed, after all, I had a boyfriend. Later on when I was older and it came to people's attention that I was same-sex oriented I did not really have any real issues with people, I had worked through my feelings and so I was really comfortable with being open about my sexual orientation. I think it took some people a while to get used to it, but I have always just continued to be myself with people and usually they eventually realize that it's just the same old Lysanne and that my sexual orientation was not the sum of who I had been, was or would ever be.
How can OUT’N’PROUDSXM and S.A.F.E. work together to encourage the young and old alike to come out? To let them know that it is ok to be who they are!!
St. Maarten/St. Martin Alliance For Equality (SAFE SXM) Foundation is interested in working with all willing organizations and individuals who are interested in advocating for the full emancipation and inclusion of LGBT people on the island. We encourage people to always be proud of who they are and stay true to themselves. We know that for some people coming out is harder than for others, so we urge people to accept themselves whether they are in or out and to be gentle with themselves during the whole process, because coming out is really just that; a process. It's not something that really happens from one day to the next, but takes some reflection and getting use to. Further we want people to always exercise wisdom in coming out and to put their safety first. For people for whom it would be unsafe to come out immediately we encourage them to, when and where they can, still find ways to engage with LGBT people and/or organizations that can support and empower them. For people for whom it is easier we encourage them to come out when they are ready and confident about who they are and to also always offer support and encourage to others they may know.
Can you please outline a few activities that S.A.F.E. will be hosting in the months to come?
St. Maarten/St. Martin Alliance For Equality (SAFE SXM) will be hosting a discussion meeting on Thursday, October 16th at 7:30pm at the office of the Aids Foundation, on Saturday, November 25th we will be partying at Eros for Halloween, on Sunday, November 9th we be hiking (location to be decided) at 6:30am, on Saturday, November 15th we will have a theatrical production entitled "Don't be afraid of Rainbows" at the John Larmonie Center, in Philipsburg, on Thursday, November 20th we will have a discussion meeting on Relationship Baggage: What to take with you and what to leave behind) at the Office of Aides in Concordia, on Sunday, December 7th, we will be hiking across the Causeway Bridge either in the morning at 6:30am for sunrise or in the evening around 5pm for sunset, then on Wednesday, December 10th we will have our first International Human Rights Day lecture on our 1st Anniversary, this will be at the University of St. Martin at 7:30pm, on Saturday, December 13th we will have the second run of Don't be afraid of Rainbows, again at John Larmonie Center, in Philipsburg and there may be a Old Year's Eve Rainbow Party (but that will be announced later on.) We also have a pretty full schedule for next year as well. In addition we will be hosting the annual Pink Orange Alliance (POA) meeting in November of 2014. We advise anyone interested in our activities to add us on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/safe.sxm. And we encourage everyone to come out and be with us and with each other, whether they are lesbian, gay, bi, trans or ally.
I myself didn’t know about S.A.F.E. SXM; I heard about it from a colleague. How can we utilize the medium that we have now to let others know about S.A.F.E. SXM and OUT’N’PROUD SXM?
What message do you have for the teenagers that are struggling to come out, and for the older ones that have it all bottled up inside?
You know for the teens I would say take your time. Like I said above coming out is a process, so first learn to accept yourself and really come to terms with what it means to be LGBT, most importantly BE PROUD OF YOURSELF ALWAYS. Then evaluate the people around you to see who will be supportive of you, once you have determined who will be there for you then you can confide in them. Always choose wisely when it comes to telling people, make sure you are not putting yourself in any danger. Once you are out, do not let negative people rattle you and do not become drawn into uncomfortable conversations with people who seek to put you down. Also though do not retaliate with anger when people attack you verbally based on religious or cultural stances, just let them know you are comfortable and confident with who you are and continue on your way.
Lysanne Charles:
Teenagers tend to be more vulnerable, because they are often still dependent on their parents for many things, including housing, food, clothing, school fees and books, etc. So while people may want to say, just come out, often this is not possible. Where and when it is, we definitely encourage teens to do so, but where and when it is not, we encourage teens to be cautious and exercise wisdom in their approaches. For older individuals, coming out can also be a lengthy process. Again, I would encourage them to become comfortable with the idea of being LGBT and to fully accept themselves. There are people who are afraid to accept that they are LGBT either because of religious reasons or societal stigmas. I would encourage them to research and read more about LGBT history and persons and they would see that same-sex desires and relationships are in fact a part of human history. A lot of biblical passages have been taken out of context and are used to promote anti-gay sentiments in the Caribbean, but contextual readings show that those passages do not actually speak to homosexuality in the ways for which they are currently used. Knowledge is power, so read and research to gain knowledge to empower yourselves. Also get in contact with LGBT persons and/or organizations for support and encouragement, realize you are not alone in this and that you do not have to keep everything bottled up inside.
How can you make them feel comfortable enough and welcome, to come to S.A.F.E. SXM and express themselves?
Well everyone is welcomed at SAFE SXM events, whether you are LGBT, Questioning or an Ally. We pass no judgment on people and encourage persons, particularly LGBT people, to come out and discuss, hike, party, etc., with us. They are welcomed, whether they come individually or in groups, they are welcomed. SAFE SXM events are just that, SAFE spaces and places for LGBT people, so come on out and see that you are free to be you in whatever way you come.
I would like to thank Ms. Lysanne Charles Arrindell, for her interview and words of encouragement and wisdom. Its alright to be yourself, and not get caught up in the Homophobic behavior of others. S.A.F.E SXM and thier allies are there for each and everyone of us. Again thank you Lysanne, and I hope to have many more dialog with you in the near future. THANK YOU!!!!
MINELVA MADURO/ LYSANNE CHARLES.
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