Relationships 101: Don't Let the Past Ruin The Present

As a teenager, I had a crush on a girl, same age group as I was. At the age of 13, I didn’t know that telling a girl I had a crush on her was wrong. Why??!! Because I felt strongly about her.

One day I got the courage to tell her how I felt about her, in the form of a love letter. I had the love note delivered and awaited her reply. Though she never even took me on, I never stopped trying. We grew close as friends and nothing more, because she eventually turned out to be straight. I used to get jealous of all the attention she used to get from guys, because I wanted to be her one and only, but she wasn’t having it. But I still felt relieved when I told her how I felt, though devastated at the same time because she didn’t feel the same way about me.

 

Even though we are now both grown women, a couple years ago I told her that I still feel the same way about her. But as time passed, I came to realize that it will never happen and we’re better off as BFF’s.

Sometimes in life, things don’t always turn out how you want. I’ve learned to make peace with your past, so it won’t screw up the present. I say that because when I was looking for a girl, I always used to compare them with my high school crush and you knew what happened. I ended up alone, because no one matched up to the criteria. At that time, my past did affect the present.

As I grew older, I’ve had a few meaningless relationships with lesbian and bi-sexual women. Entering into a relationship with a bi-sexual woman, from my experience is very painful and stressful on the heart.  When you’re in love with someone, you want to be with them every minute of every day. However with a bi-sexual woman you can’t, so your relationship with her is neither here or there, because there is a man in the picture. I learnt my lesson a long time ago, not to get involved with any bi-sexual woman unless it’s just you and her.  A real lesbian will never enter into a relationship with a bisexual woman.  bi-sexuals like to use the term “the best of both worlds”. There is no problem with having that. But it's not going to happen with me.

I love to be treated the way I treat you. As a lesbian, I would not put myself in  that type of relationship with a bi-sexual woman. I'm a very serious woman when it comes to my sexuality, and what others think of me is none of my business. With that said, stay tune for part two of Relationships 101: When a lesbian enters a relationship with a straight woman.

P.S: No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

M. Maduro